Everybody wants something, just a little more...
We’re making a living, and what we’re livin for...
A rich man or a poor man, a pawn or a king...
You can live on the street, you can rule the whole world...
But you don’t mean one damn thing...
If you ain’t got someone, you’re afraid to lose...
Everybody needs just one, someone... to tell them the truth
Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I still believe...
I believe in hope, I believe the change can get us off our knees.
I don’t wanna have to talk about it...
How many songs you gotta sing about it...
How long you gonna live without it...
Why does someone somewhere have to doubt it...
Someday you’ll figure it out...
What do you got, if you ain’t got love...
Whatever you got, it just ain’t enough...
You’re walking the road, but you’re goin’ nowhere...
You’re trying to find your way home, but there’s no one there...
Who do you hold, in the dark of night...
You wanna give up, but it’s worth the fight...
You have all the things, that you’ve been dreamin’ of...
IF YOU AIN'T GOT LOVE AND SOME ONE TO SHARE WITH...
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
a moment like this....
Well when the time of trouble come...
I'm always at the edge...
this year had been a not so good luck year to me...
I found love but I let it passes me by....
I found trust yet I allowed the betrayal to sting me...
I found you but chase u away...
wierd...
life have been so funny and challenging towards me...
I went to grandpa grave this morning...
Talk to him...
funny he never reply...
spookier if he does...
Meet grandma...
missng those group of wecky fren I brought to meet her...
age-ing... ailing...
life, what's the meaning of it, if there are no one to share with....
I'm always at the edge...
this year had been a not so good luck year to me...
I found love but I let it passes me by....
I found trust yet I allowed the betrayal to sting me...
I found you but chase u away...
wierd...
life have been so funny and challenging towards me...
I went to grandpa grave this morning...
Talk to him...
funny he never reply...
spookier if he does...
Meet grandma...
missng those group of wecky fren I brought to meet her...
age-ing... ailing...
life, what's the meaning of it, if there are no one to share with....
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Good bye past...
What Is Love?
Those Who Do Not Like It... Call It... Responsibility....
Those Who Play With It... Call It.... A Game...
Those Who Do Not Have It... Call It.... A Dream...
Those Who Understand It... They Call It..... DESTINY.....
I have no regrets...
I will never regret loving someone...
because the feeling of love for five minutes...
is greater than an eternity of hurt....
Those Who Do Not Like It... Call It... Responsibility....
Those Who Play With It... Call It.... A Game...
Those Who Do Not Have It... Call It.... A Dream...
Those Who Understand It... They Call It..... DESTINY.....
I have no regrets...
I will never regret loving someone...
because the feeling of love for five minutes...
is greater than an eternity of hurt....
Saturday, November 20, 2010
HAHAHA... I FOUND IT!!
Gosh I found this... what a classic...
My dear, s'moga happy disisi Husband tersayang (>.^)...
Parody...
In Life...
I've Fall In Love So Many Times...
But There Is Only Someone That Will Come..
To My Life...
That I Will Never Forget...
Even though She Is Not The One To Be My Lifetime Partner...
But She Will Be The One...
That Will Give Meaning To My Life...
I've Always Been Afraid...
Of Losing People...
I Cherish So Much...
But....
At Times I Keep Asking Myself...
"Is There Anyone Who Will Be Afraid Of Losing ME Too?"
I Have Learned...
To Give Love To All...
Not Because I Have Too Much...
But...
Because I Know The Feeling...
Of Not Having It...
I've Fall In Love So Many Times...
But There Is Only Someone That Will Come..
To My Life...
That I Will Never Forget...
Even though She Is Not The One To Be My Lifetime Partner...
But She Will Be The One...
That Will Give Meaning To My Life...
I've Always Been Afraid...
Of Losing People...
I Cherish So Much...
But....
At Times I Keep Asking Myself...
"Is There Anyone Who Will Be Afraid Of Losing ME Too?"
I Have Learned...
To Give Love To All...
Not Because I Have Too Much...
But...
Because I Know The Feeling...
Of Not Having It...
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
My Rhapsody
I've written this rhapsody awhile ago. During the time of grief and sorrow. Most of all, it's a special feeling one could ever have.
Dazing in the dark...
In the middle of the nite...
Holding my heart...
Hope it was you I'm holding tight...
Is this the real life?
Or is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide...
No escape from reality....
When I look into your eye...
I can see love restrained...
But baby when I wanted to hold you...
Don't you know I feel the same...
I miss the time u call me out at nite....
We scream sing, we shout and we cried...
I thought it was a spark of a light...
I was lark in that September night...
I remember the flower in your hair...
I remember the time we spend and spare...
The star we gaze and glare...
The feeling when u flicker your hair...
Sometime I forget who I was...
when I'm with you...
but too bad close to you I never was....
I guess even until the time God asked me to pay my dues....
So, if you want to love me...
then baby don't refrain....
Or I'll just end up walking....
In the cold November rain....
Dazing in the dark...
In the middle of the nite...
Holding my heart...
Hope it was you I'm holding tight...
Is this the real life?
Or is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide...
No escape from reality....
When I look into your eye...
I can see love restrained...
But baby when I wanted to hold you...
Don't you know I feel the same...
I miss the time u call me out at nite....
We scream sing, we shout and we cried...
I thought it was a spark of a light...
I was lark in that September night...
I remember the flower in your hair...
I remember the time we spend and spare...
The star we gaze and glare...
The feeling when u flicker your hair...
Sometime I forget who I was...
when I'm with you...
but too bad close to you I never was....
I guess even until the time God asked me to pay my dues....
So, if you want to love me...
then baby don't refrain....
Or I'll just end up walking....
In the cold November rain....
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The lost
Just received a phone call from my mum... 2 of the closes person in my life just pass away... Damn...life is short...
Cheated....
My goodness, I was cheated by the company I'm consulting...
Naive... darn... what to do... I'm easy to be cheated...
I so tired... (T_T)...
Naive... darn... what to do... I'm easy to be cheated...
I so tired... (T_T)...
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Stolen
My heart was stolen and never to be returned.
My love is frozen which once it was over burned.
over turned.
My love is frozen which once it was over burned.
over turned.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Words
Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Yesterday
Dunia terang menjadi gelita...
Cahaya indah tiada bergema...
Keluhan hatiku membawa derita...
Kini kau jua tak kunjung jelma...
Life some times could be so boring. When I'm alone and off my feet. In my heart always seek hope for changing. But yet I never lift my feet up from the grown. I feel like life so old. I feel like I could never let it go. I really hope that you could tell me what you wan from me. Before I disappear. I promise my heart sincere, because you the one I'm missing here. It such a dark dark place to be where I am now. Well at time, I wish we were together forever. Yet we are all over. At time you make me feel love. Most of the time you make me feel jealous. And it eats me up inside. I appologise if you ever hurt because of me. I just a human. Doing hes best to be at his best. Thou you bring jealousy into my life. I still fond you... I still love you... hope u get this crystal clear.... I'm just being me.
Cahaya indah tiada bergema...
Keluhan hatiku membawa derita...
Kini kau jua tak kunjung jelma...
Life some times could be so boring. When I'm alone and off my feet. In my heart always seek hope for changing. But yet I never lift my feet up from the grown. I feel like life so old. I feel like I could never let it go. I really hope that you could tell me what you wan from me. Before I disappear. I promise my heart sincere, because you the one I'm missing here. It such a dark dark place to be where I am now. Well at time, I wish we were together forever. Yet we are all over. At time you make me feel love. Most of the time you make me feel jealous. And it eats me up inside. I appologise if you ever hurt because of me. I just a human. Doing hes best to be at his best. Thou you bring jealousy into my life. I still fond you... I still love you... hope u get this crystal clear.... I'm just being me.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Present day
Night crawls out from the dark. Engulfs every nook and corner of my abode and the lights must recede. Darkness shall roam into the street and every inch of the land. So long and good night. As my mind trying to be at it's peace, question arise and clouded my head. "Doushitte...doushitte kimi wo suki ni natte shimattan darou?" I have no idea why my though flown in to that direction. It hurt, it really hurt. Why must I still feel it. I guess is the human nature.
So many things happen lately. Doing my best not to think about it. I really wanted to tell some one "I TOLD U SO" but it doesn't worth doing it. Who am I to pull down other people. What is my status to them? Just let it go Kai. SO no matter how much I detest it. There will alway be love the save my day. SO I do my best to help. I will. I cross my heart. Coz what ever come next, is always UP.
Dear grandpa, I'm still holding on to it. I will make sure no body get hurt. Event thou it's hard for people to believe, but some eventually will. I promise not to let it hurt anyone. I PROMISE I'LL BECOME STRONGER. "Ikatnya lembu pada tali, Ikatnya manusia pada janji..."
So many things happen lately. Doing my best not to think about it. I really wanted to tell some one "I TOLD U SO" but it doesn't worth doing it. Who am I to pull down other people. What is my status to them? Just let it go Kai. SO no matter how much I detest it. There will alway be love the save my day. SO I do my best to help. I will. I cross my heart. Coz what ever come next, is always UP.
Dear grandpa, I'm still holding on to it. I will make sure no body get hurt. Event thou it's hard for people to believe, but some eventually will. I promise not to let it hurt anyone. I PROMISE I'LL BECOME STRONGER. "Ikatnya lembu pada tali, Ikatnya manusia pada janji..."
Thursday, October 21, 2010
My past...
Today, in the afternoon have the closing ceremony of teacher training. the weather was as breeze as afternoon beach. we were all happily talking bout achievement and out of a sudden. Mdm Ho was talking bout kids who are just counting time. I WAS ONE OF THEM.
It all happen years ago. I was in form 1. Things doesn't start well. My family isn't doing well in our finance. But we are happy. It all started of in this one fine day. As was in the class as usual. It was during Maths class, me and my flock of friends as usual chatty and braggy in the class. out of a sudden the teacher stood up and shouted at us... we were scolded like we do not have any dignity left in us... we were mock like we are some piece of shit. I can still remember his words clearly "kamu ni binatang yang kurang ajar, apa mak bapa kamu tak ajar kamu jadi manusia ka... atau mak bapak kamu ni anjing!"
I stood up and flip the table over. The whole class was in mass. We were detained. Since then, I hate teachers. I started to rebel. Playing truant, start smoking, fighting and involve in school gangster activities. I was in my darkest moment. Was known in school as "Geng Enam Jahanam".
Years gone by, 2008, I was in form 3 still being the bad as in my school. May came, as usual one of those unlucky day, doing wrong thing at the wrong time. I was caught smoking in the toilet. The next day I was sentences public canning. Reach home, my dad was waiting with a belt. I was in my doom state of mind. At that time, I hated life. I hated every thing that people love. I detest 'em all.
One fine day, my Principle walk pass me and saw me. What he did was call me to report to his office every single day after school. Life change, for once I felt love and being appreciated by some one. This man didn't even scold me. All he did was just teach me Math and English. He even give me a nick name, he call me BUDOK MILO. Why because ever time during break we will go have some drinks together and my favorite was Milo. That is when I got to know her... Aishah Fitriah Taib... the first love of my life... and that would be another story....
It all happen years ago. I was in form 1. Things doesn't start well. My family isn't doing well in our finance. But we are happy. It all started of in this one fine day. As was in the class as usual. It was during Maths class, me and my flock of friends as usual chatty and braggy in the class. out of a sudden the teacher stood up and shouted at us... we were scolded like we do not have any dignity left in us... we were mock like we are some piece of shit. I can still remember his words clearly "kamu ni binatang yang kurang ajar, apa mak bapa kamu tak ajar kamu jadi manusia ka... atau mak bapak kamu ni anjing!"
I stood up and flip the table over. The whole class was in mass. We were detained. Since then, I hate teachers. I started to rebel. Playing truant, start smoking, fighting and involve in school gangster activities. I was in my darkest moment. Was known in school as "Geng Enam Jahanam".
Years gone by, 2008, I was in form 3 still being the bad as in my school. May came, as usual one of those unlucky day, doing wrong thing at the wrong time. I was caught smoking in the toilet. The next day I was sentences public canning. Reach home, my dad was waiting with a belt. I was in my doom state of mind. At that time, I hated life. I hated every thing that people love. I detest 'em all.
One fine day, my Principle walk pass me and saw me. What he did was call me to report to his office every single day after school. Life change, for once I felt love and being appreciated by some one. This man didn't even scold me. All he did was just teach me Math and English. He even give me a nick name, he call me BUDOK MILO. Why because ever time during break we will go have some drinks together and my favorite was Milo. That is when I got to know her... Aishah Fitriah Taib... the first love of my life... and that would be another story....
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I swore a solemn to keep faith...
It can happen to anyone of us...
The situation got out of hand...
I hope you understand...
Anyone can fall...
Anyone can hurt someone they love...
Hearts will break....
I made a stupid mistake....
Say you will forgive me...
Say you will believe me....
I can’t take my heart will break...
Because of my stupid mistake...
I’ve been letting you down...
I’ve been such a fool to get drown...
Giving in to temptation...
When I should’ve played it cool rather than aggravation...
The situation got out of hand...
I hope you understand...
Anyone can fall...
Anyone can hurt someone they love...
Hearts will break....
I made a stupid mistake....
Say you will forgive me...
Say you will believe me....
I can’t take my heart will break...
Because of my stupid mistake...
I’ve been letting you down...
I’ve been such a fool to get drown...
Giving in to temptation...
When I should’ve played it cool rather than aggravation...
Monday, October 18, 2010
Regret
Broken a promisses is bad enough...
As a friends,
you do not need to reminds me of it when I've told I regretted it...
being a caring person doesn't mean that you need to "control" others...
if you are so good then why can't u urself forget ur past...
and keep on whining about it....
Every body have their problem...
every body did the same thing you do...
it doesn't matter how you solve em...
yet it still eat inside of you....
I come to sense to realise....
I know this thing can't be compromise...
But at least I step back to see what going on...
part of me...
silently...
Just don't feel so insecure...
past of me...
violently....
just do thing without second thought...
ok, I my deal with the devil.... I'll quit this time for sure....
Sunday, October 17, 2010
My promises
This week I have sin...
I have broken one of my promises...
I smoked 3 times last week...
I can believe I can't even control my own self...
how could I control a bunch of children?
I miss the time we are together...
even if it is a short one...
I miss seeing u every day...
Even you have dismay...
As I was saying...
Time is wasted if I not with you...
and I hope that I'm not wasting your....
Saturday, October 16, 2010
What is LOVE
Do You Know What's LOVE ? ?
LOVE Is Like A Favorite Song That You Play
...Over And Over ...
This One Song Makes You
Happy, Sad & Maybe Even Mad
But
Even Then
You Still Press Repeat.
♥
Monday, October 11, 2010
What's going on?
Tell me what’s wrong with society...
When everywhere I look I see...
Young girls dying to be on TV...
Won’t stop till they’ve reached their dreams...
Diet pills, surgery...
Photo shop pictures in magazines...
Telling them how they should be...
It doesn’t make sense to me...
I guess things aren’t how they used to be...
There’s no more normal families...
Parents act like enemies...
Making kids feel like it’s World War 3...
No one cares, no one’s there...
I guess we’re all just too damn busy...
And money’s our first priority.....
It doesn’t make sense to me...
Tell me what’s wrong with society...
When everywhere I look I see...
Rich guys driving big SUV’s...
When kids are starving in the streets...
No one cares...
No one likes to share...
I guess life's unfair...
Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on
Tell me what's going on
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something....
That something is wrong....
When everywhere I look I see...
Young girls dying to be on TV...
Won’t stop till they’ve reached their dreams...
Diet pills, surgery...
Photo shop pictures in magazines...
Telling them how they should be...
It doesn’t make sense to me...
I guess things aren’t how they used to be...
There’s no more normal families...
Parents act like enemies...
Making kids feel like it’s World War 3...
No one cares, no one’s there...
I guess we’re all just too damn busy...
And money’s our first priority.....
It doesn’t make sense to me...
Tell me what’s wrong with society...
When everywhere I look I see...
Rich guys driving big SUV’s...
When kids are starving in the streets...
No one cares...
No one likes to share...
I guess life's unfair...
Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on
Tell me what's going on
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something....
That something is wrong....
Monday, October 4, 2010
Where do I go from here?
Sweet serenity...
purple me...
last night, I had a vision again about a friend, x . I was told in my dream that x like y. So they were together for the past few month. only lately y was angry with x, for the same thing i fight with x; x behavior that causes jealousy around people around 'em. As I know, x is like that. x wanted every thing to be the X way. any other advice will be pointless. if only x would learn a skill call LISTEN. in my dream, Y avoided x with what ever mean Y can. But x from the past experience of x experience dun wan that to happen so trying what ever x can to safe the relationship. my dream speak of x wanted attention which eventually hurt some one and X self in the making...
honestly I just dunno should or shouldn't I tell x about this... the last time I told x... I was mark as a psycho... haiz... let it be... but I care for X so much... just dun one x to over do thing that could hurt x self and Y too.... I just wish em well....
purple me...
last night, I had a vision again about a friend, x . I was told in my dream that x like y. So they were together for the past few month. only lately y was angry with x, for the same thing i fight with x; x behavior that causes jealousy around people around 'em. As I know, x is like that. x wanted every thing to be the X way. any other advice will be pointless. if only x would learn a skill call LISTEN. in my dream, Y avoided x with what ever mean Y can. But x from the past experience of x experience dun wan that to happen so trying what ever x can to safe the relationship. my dream speak of x wanted attention which eventually hurt some one and X self in the making...
honestly I just dunno should or shouldn't I tell x about this... the last time I told x... I was mark as a psycho... haiz... let it be... but I care for X so much... just dun one x to over do thing that could hurt x self and Y too.... I just wish em well....
Sunday, October 3, 2010
My end games
To stay or to go?
Where will I flow...
There still a lot I don't know...
Where can I grow?
To many thing I wanted to do..
To lil time I have indeed...
What if tomorrow never come?
Where will I flow...
There still a lot I don't know...
Where can I grow?
To many thing I wanted to do..
To lil time I have indeed...
What if tomorrow never come?
Saturday, October 2, 2010
abandoned love?
Love,
As I know breath new meaning...
Not about butterfly and kisses....
nor diamond or ring....
neither word of promises....
it's about you and me...
It's about my imperfection...
and you affection....
It's about acceptance...
It's about you being fragile...
and I always make you smile...
we see each other weakness...
and offer pure forgiveness....
without love there's loneliness...
and it's breed the world of madness....
let love spread it's wing of liberty....
As I know breath new meaning...
Not about butterfly and kisses....
nor diamond or ring....
neither word of promises....
it's about you and me...
It's about my imperfection...
and you affection....
It's about acceptance...
It's about you being fragile...
and I always make you smile...
we see each other weakness...
and offer pure forgiveness....
without love there's loneliness...
and it's breed the world of madness....
let love spread it's wing of liberty....
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Nothing Hill
"If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long, with you I see forever
Oh, so clearly, I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love"
Kinda like this song. It keep me in peace. the world we once know as a pure and naive world are changing into complexity.... no more simplicity in life. Well I learn ti cherish what I have. My job, my friends, my love one, my family...and most of all my life. I only have this one life. It will be a sin if I do not give and share. Merely is because this life in not my in the end. This body is not mine. This face, this whole reality. One day I will leave here. no matter how much I have. so most important is be happy. To attain happiness is not easy and not difficult too... I just have to learn to accept, appreciate, never give up... and continue fighting....
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long, with you I see forever
Oh, so clearly, I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love"
Kinda like this song. It keep me in peace. the world we once know as a pure and naive world are changing into complexity.... no more simplicity in life. Well I learn ti cherish what I have. My job, my friends, my love one, my family...and most of all my life. I only have this one life. It will be a sin if I do not give and share. Merely is because this life in not my in the end. This body is not mine. This face, this whole reality. One day I will leave here. no matter how much I have. so most important is be happy. To attain happiness is not easy and not difficult too... I just have to learn to accept, appreciate, never give up... and continue fighting....
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
RAGE
I have sin...
one I cannot repent..
My light is dim...
I do not know where will I be send...
The heart is full of rage, jealousy and anger...
In a search to find a peaceful platter....
Every day I have had enough of the human behavior...
sarcasm... betrayal... and righteous....
I'm for the future...
I'm for the sake of the children today... people of tomorrow...
and yet... the parent today... I detest...
children are not robot...
stop turning your child into dead trunk.... let them grow...
let them express them self to be free.... creative....
if you wanted me to program your child into a robot....
I rather quit... find some one else....
I dare not carry with me the blood stained that being casted on me.....
one I cannot repent..
My light is dim...
I do not know where will I be send...
The heart is full of rage, jealousy and anger...
In a search to find a peaceful platter....
Every day I have had enough of the human behavior...
sarcasm... betrayal... and righteous....
I'm for the future...
I'm for the sake of the children today... people of tomorrow...
and yet... the parent today... I detest...
children are not robot...
stop turning your child into dead trunk.... let them grow...
let them express them self to be free.... creative....
if you wanted me to program your child into a robot....
I rather quit... find some one else....
I dare not carry with me the blood stained that being casted on me.....
Thursday, September 23, 2010
An Expression of Faith
I have walked on the high wire
With no net to catch me
I have stood in the spotlight
Where each flaw could be seen
And I've anteed my faith
To the mercy of strangers'
Cause when you ride on the big ride
You don't ride for free
Though the north wind is freezing
And the thunderclouds gather
Still we scatter the new seed
And we trust in the sun
Though this world is uncertain
We deliver our children
To life's great adventure
And the promise of love
Some call it wisdom
And some call it pain
To find out the truth
To discover it's name
But when all that we know
Doesn't change anything
Expressions of faith
Are all that remain
If we're only brief candles
Let's burn for a day
If we're only poor players
Let's rush to the stage
And if we don't know the ending
Let's begin anyway
It starts in your heart
An expression of faith
It starts in your heart
An expression of faith
Music by: Steve Dorff
Lyrics by: George Green
With no net to catch me
I have stood in the spotlight
Where each flaw could be seen
And I've anteed my faith
To the mercy of strangers'
Cause when you ride on the big ride
You don't ride for free
Though the north wind is freezing
And the thunderclouds gather
Still we scatter the new seed
And we trust in the sun
Though this world is uncertain
We deliver our children
To life's great adventure
And the promise of love
Some call it wisdom
And some call it pain
To find out the truth
To discover it's name
But when all that we know
Doesn't change anything
Expressions of faith
Are all that remain
If we're only brief candles
Let's burn for a day
If we're only poor players
Let's rush to the stage
And if we don't know the ending
Let's begin anyway
It starts in your heart
An expression of faith
It starts in your heart
An expression of faith
Music by: Steve Dorff
Lyrics by: George Green
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Thinking of you...
you know,
I would never ask you to change...
If perfect's what you're searching for...
then just stay the same...
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok...
You know what I'll say...
When I see your face,
there's not a thing that I would change...
Because you're amazing,
just the way you are...
And when you smile,
the whole world stops and stares for a while...
Because girl you're amazing,
just the way you are...
I would never ask you to change...
If perfect's what you're searching for...
then just stay the same...
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok...
You know what I'll say...
When I see your face,
there's not a thing that I would change...
Because you're amazing,
just the way you are...
And when you smile,
the whole world stops and stares for a while...
Because girl you're amazing,
just the way you are...
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sour Mix
Well today, went shopping wit my mum...
I found out some thing interesting...
she knows me too well :)
since I was young till now...
can't hide a single thing from her thou...
Anyway, another person I'm glad to be with....
my dear...
U look wonderful today...
nope,
u look wonderful to me every day...
I'll be sad if u are sad...
I'm lost with your silence...
I'm cheered with your laughter... :)
I found out some thing interesting...
she knows me too well :)
since I was young till now...
can't hide a single thing from her thou...
Anyway, another person I'm glad to be with....
my dear...
U look wonderful today...
nope,
u look wonderful to me every day...
I'll be sad if u are sad...
I'm lost with your silence...
I'm cheered with your laughter... :)
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Sorry I can't be perfect...
I'm doing my best to pursuit the perfection in life.
Yet I'm a human with limitation...
Doing my best not to let emotion rome in my decision..
doing my best to be present n this world...
doing my best to stay alive and give life to those around me...
Yet I'm a human with limitation...
Doing my best not to let emotion rome in my decision..
doing my best to be present n this world...
doing my best to stay alive and give life to those around me...
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Aku Difitnah?
Apa lah salah diriku..
sehingga aku difitnah...
apa lah salah diriku..
sehingga aku ditipu...
apa lah yang telah ku buat...
sehingga orang salah tanggapan terhadap diri ku?
aku tak mencuri...
aku tak rompak...
aku ikut arah tuan dan tidak menyakitkan orang lain...
tidak pernah ku berniat melukakan hati kawan...
sekiranyer aku tersilap...
ku minta ampun dan sembah sujut....
ku bertanya apayang boleh ku perbaiki....
adakah itu tidak cukup...
aku tersiksa...
niat ku untuk hidup gembira...
niat ku untuk hidup aman...
ku tak berniat untuk hidup bermusuhan...
ku ingin bebas daripada fahaman kuno...
ku ingin kekalkan tradisi, adat dan nilai murni....
ku ingin kan keamanan...
ku ingin kan kemerdekaan...
Merdeka dari diskriminasi...
merdeka dari kronisasi...
merdeka dari illusi...
merdeka dari sebarabg bentok yang membahagikan kita... manusia sejagat...
sehingga aku difitnah...
apa lah salah diriku..
sehingga aku ditipu...
apa lah yang telah ku buat...
sehingga orang salah tanggapan terhadap diri ku?
aku tak mencuri...
aku tak rompak...
aku ikut arah tuan dan tidak menyakitkan orang lain...
tidak pernah ku berniat melukakan hati kawan...
sekiranyer aku tersilap...
ku minta ampun dan sembah sujut....
ku bertanya apayang boleh ku perbaiki....
adakah itu tidak cukup...
aku tersiksa...
niat ku untuk hidup gembira...
niat ku untuk hidup aman...
ku tak berniat untuk hidup bermusuhan...
ku ingin bebas daripada fahaman kuno...
ku ingin kekalkan tradisi, adat dan nilai murni....
ku ingin kan keamanan...
ku ingin kan kemerdekaan...
Merdeka dari diskriminasi...
merdeka dari kronisasi...
merdeka dari illusi...
merdeka dari sebarabg bentok yang membahagikan kita... manusia sejagat...
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
My dedication to you...
I'm grateful that you stand by me...
I'm lonely when you are not with me...
Stat light star bright help me see...
the better part of my life is thee indeed...
tq dear....
I'm lonely when you are not with me...
Stat light star bright help me see...
the better part of my life is thee indeed...
tq dear....
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
break out and break through....
I know I'm different...
yet no so extraordinary...
I wish I could learn...
to control the imagery...
that stuck in my membrane....
things i see may not happen... yet...
just hope that it never will... yet...
some have come true...
some not... I just hate the goose bump when it does....
from now on.. any thing I see it's between me and my brain...
it happen there and it stay there...
who am I to see how people live...
it's their life...
please brain stop this madness...
it's killing me... partially...
slowly and softly....
Lock-on-stratos
yet no so extraordinary...
I wish I could learn...
to control the imagery...
that stuck in my membrane....
things i see may not happen... yet...
just hope that it never will... yet...
some have come true...
some not... I just hate the goose bump when it does....
from now on.. any thing I see it's between me and my brain...
it happen there and it stay there...
who am I to see how people live...
it's their life...
please brain stop this madness...
it's killing me... partially...
slowly and softly....
Lock-on-stratos
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I wonder...
I was wondering when I can get my pilot license....
argh.... cepat la process...
aku tok sabar nak terbang nie....
argh.... cepat la process...
aku tok sabar nak terbang nie....
DON'T WANNA BE JUST LIKE U!
It's a new day, but it all feels old
It's a good life, that's what I'm told
But everything, it all just feels the same
At my high school, it felt more to me
Like a jail cell, a penitentiary
My time spent there, it only made me see
That I don't ever wanna be like you
I don't wanna do the things you do
I'm never gonna hear the words you say
and I don't ever wanna, I don't ever wanna be....
YOU...
I DON'T WANNA BE JUST LIKE U...
Go to college, a university,
get a real job, that's what they said to me
But I could never live the way they want
I'm gonna get by,
and just do my time,
out of step while, they all get in line
I'm just a minor threat so pay no mind
Do you really wanna be like them,
do you really wanna be another trend?
Do you wanna be part of that crowd?
'cause I don't ever wanna, I don't ever wanna be.....
YOU...
I DON'T WANNA BE JUST LIKE U...
It's a good life, that's what I'm told
But everything, it all just feels the same
At my high school, it felt more to me
Like a jail cell, a penitentiary
My time spent there, it only made me see
That I don't ever wanna be like you
I don't wanna do the things you do
I'm never gonna hear the words you say
and I don't ever wanna, I don't ever wanna be....
YOU...
I DON'T WANNA BE JUST LIKE U...
Go to college, a university,
get a real job, that's what they said to me
But I could never live the way they want
I'm gonna get by,
and just do my time,
out of step while, they all get in line
I'm just a minor threat so pay no mind
Do you really wanna be like them,
do you really wanna be another trend?
Do you wanna be part of that crowd?
'cause I don't ever wanna, I don't ever wanna be.....
YOU...
I DON'T WANNA BE JUST LIKE U...
Friday, August 20, 2010
I could really use a wish right now...
I could use a dream or a genie or a wish...
To go back to a place much simpler than this...
Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'...
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion...
And all the pandemonium and all the madness...
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness...
And when you're staring at that phone in your lap...
And you hoping but them people never call you back...
But that's just how the story unfolds...
You get another hand soon after you fold...
And when your plans unravel...
And they sayin' what would you wish for...
If you had one chance...
So airplane airplane sorry I'm late...
I'm on my way so don't close that gate...
If I don't make that then I'll switch my flight...
And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night...
To go back to a place much simpler than this...
Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'...
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion...
And all the pandemonium and all the madness...
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness...
And when you're staring at that phone in your lap...
And you hoping but them people never call you back...
But that's just how the story unfolds...
You get another hand soon after you fold...
And when your plans unravel...
And they sayin' what would you wish for...
If you had one chance...
So airplane airplane sorry I'm late...
I'm on my way so don't close that gate...
If I don't make that then I'll switch my flight...
And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night...
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Troublesome....
Again today was summon by the higher authority that govern the place I work...
same ol' thing... Some times I feel like a numb buts when I declined their offer...
what is life any way...
yes I understand the need to be happy and work for what I wan...
till the end of days...my life end either way...
there are no definite answer I see...
some time it is okay to be questioning...sometimes it is not...
need to lift up this head and smile...
Be... do... have....
same ol' thing... Some times I feel like a numb buts when I declined their offer...
what is life any way...
yes I understand the need to be happy and work for what I wan...
till the end of days...my life end either way...
there are no definite answer I see...
some time it is okay to be questioning...sometimes it is not...
need to lift up this head and smile...
Be... do... have....
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Disappointment
The other day I was so hurt to hear and see the attitude of our teacher now days...
The teacher was assign with a task... it happen that the plan doesn't as planned....
So she was up sad...
For that part i understand em...
but it's the word the teacher utter in from of other colleague that make me so sad....
the teacher say "low budget, than give low quality of product lo...."
knowing that there are no funding and is our boss who come out with his personal money and this teacher say this?
I mean ya, keep it to yourself la.... but no...
the teacher utter it in front of other teachers which clouded other with same disappointment....
as a teacher... it is out job to inspire others...
well at this point the teacher is demoralizing others...
and i magin if this happen in the teacher class...
for example the teacher had prepare so many work sheets...
day and nite preparing it and suddenly the student say:"teacher you are jut wasting out time with your work sheet!!"
how will that teacher feel?
Well as nature recalled.... what goes around come around... the teacher do it to the boss.... and the student do it back to the teacher...
anyway...teaching is a nobel profession....
you inspire... you love... you care... and u guide others....
most of all you share.....
The teacher was assign with a task... it happen that the plan doesn't as planned....
So she was up sad...
For that part i understand em...
but it's the word the teacher utter in from of other colleague that make me so sad....
the teacher say "low budget, than give low quality of product lo...."
knowing that there are no funding and is our boss who come out with his personal money and this teacher say this?
I mean ya, keep it to yourself la.... but no...
the teacher utter it in front of other teachers which clouded other with same disappointment....
as a teacher... it is out job to inspire others...
well at this point the teacher is demoralizing others...
and i magin if this happen in the teacher class...
for example the teacher had prepare so many work sheets...
day and nite preparing it and suddenly the student say:"teacher you are jut wasting out time with your work sheet!!"
how will that teacher feel?
Well as nature recalled.... what goes around come around... the teacher do it to the boss.... and the student do it back to the teacher...
anyway...teaching is a nobel profession....
you inspire... you love... you care... and u guide others....
most of all you share.....
Saturday, July 31, 2010
TQ...
Dear,
TQ for being patient with me....
TQ for being patient when I'm naughty...
TQ for being patient when I'm late...
TQ for being patient when I'm talking too much...
TQ for being patient....
:)
TQ for being patient with me....
TQ for being patient when I'm naughty...
TQ for being patient when I'm late...
TQ for being patient when I'm talking too much...
TQ for being patient....
:)
Thursday, July 29, 2010
veracious?
Lately thing are getting weird and weirder...
why does people like to pass around messages which are not even meant to be pass???
and the best part was there are certain people in this forsaken world listen to this kind of nonsense and never ask me for clarification....
Specially with this particular person I know... my intention was to help em solve a problem and I was blasted with word such as "don't comment if u don't know anything..." if really I make the wrong assumption then enlighten me..... If I don't know then explain to me... we are trying to solve problem here... let down the ego share... people are trying to help up... baagaa....
psst.... because of this person sometime I wonder if doing good means nothing at all.... but haiz forget about it...as usual I was always being treated as a "tool".... darn....
anyway my health did get any better... I miss all my extreme activity.... was drained dry lately....
but hey like the buddha say "is the mind that need to be controlled... feeling are fooling around with us...."
take a deep breath... and say have a nice day!!!!
p/s:
Dear Mr and Mrs Tan tq for the great dinner it's a pleasure doing business with your family.... I really hope to have a family like your too some day... hahahhaa....... hope you can gimme more business :p
why does people like to pass around messages which are not even meant to be pass???
and the best part was there are certain people in this forsaken world listen to this kind of nonsense and never ask me for clarification....
Specially with this particular person I know... my intention was to help em solve a problem and I was blasted with word such as "don't comment if u don't know anything..." if really I make the wrong assumption then enlighten me..... If I don't know then explain to me... we are trying to solve problem here... let down the ego share... people are trying to help up... baagaa....
psst.... because of this person sometime I wonder if doing good means nothing at all.... but haiz forget about it...as usual I was always being treated as a "tool".... darn....
anyway my health did get any better... I miss all my extreme activity.... was drained dry lately....
but hey like the buddha say "is the mind that need to be controlled... feeling are fooling around with us...."
take a deep breath... and say have a nice day!!!!
p/s:
Dear Mr and Mrs Tan tq for the great dinner it's a pleasure doing business with your family.... I really hope to have a family like your too some day... hahahhaa....... hope you can gimme more business :p
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The wheel of life
Birth, Sickness, Old, Death...
In life, no one could escape the inexorable laws of nature...
be it Christ, Prophet Muhammad nor Buddha...
Our mind it is intrinsically pure. There's nothing there.
It's out mood that that tricked us into happiness, sadness, loneliness, etc....
Illness have taking over me as I allow my though to be wondering around worldly thing..
Materialize and attached I have become to this un-permanent world...
Wondering if there's no more life tomorrow... Kaal Hoo Naa Hoo....
If that's the case then I should have live it better today...
What I wan is still not as important as what I must do...
As life continue...
In life, no one could escape the inexorable laws of nature...
be it Christ, Prophet Muhammad nor Buddha...
Our mind it is intrinsically pure. There's nothing there.
It's out mood that that tricked us into happiness, sadness, loneliness, etc....
Illness have taking over me as I allow my though to be wondering around worldly thing..
Materialize and attached I have become to this un-permanent world...
Wondering if there's no more life tomorrow... Kaal Hoo Naa Hoo....
If that's the case then I should have live it better today...
What I wan is still not as important as what I must do...
As life continue...
Friday, July 23, 2010
Disturbance in the force...
Jealousy is a very dangerous feelings....
It could ruin friendship...
It could ruin relationship...
It could make a person do weird stuff...
Beyond expectation...
Funny how life could build an destroy us at the same time...
The root cause of jealousy is greed and hatred...
my oh my...
please clear away all jealousy in my heart...
I just wan a simple and happy life...
no more...
no less...
May the force be with me....
p/s
Men are the cause of women not loving one another.
[Fr., Les hommes sont la cause que les femmes ne s'aiment point.]
It could ruin friendship...
It could ruin relationship...
It could make a person do weird stuff...
Beyond expectation...
Funny how life could build an destroy us at the same time...
The root cause of jealousy is greed and hatred...
my oh my...
please clear away all jealousy in my heart...
I just wan a simple and happy life...
no more...
no less...
May the force be with me....
p/s
Men are the cause of women not loving one another.
[Fr., Les hommes sont la cause que les femmes ne s'aiment point.]
Friday, July 16, 2010
Kal ho naa ho....
Life changes its beauty all the time
Sometimes it's a shade, sometimes life is sunlight
Live every moment here to your heart's content
The time that is here may not be tomorrow
One who loves you whole-heartedly
It is difficult meet that person
If there is someone like that somewhere
That person is more beautiful than all
Grab onto that (person's) hand
He or she may not be so gracious tomorrow
Live every moment here to your heart's content
The time that is here may not be tomorrow
Taking the shadow of your eyelashes, when someone comes near
You try to reason with your crazy heart
Your heart just goes on beating
But think, that which is here now
That story may not be here tomorrow
Live every moment here to your heart's content
The time that is here may not be tomorrow
Sometimes it's a shade, sometimes life is sunlight
Live every moment here to your heart's content
The time that is here may not be tomorrow
One who loves you whole-heartedly
It is difficult meet that person
If there is someone like that somewhere
That person is more beautiful than all
Grab onto that (person's) hand
He or she may not be so gracious tomorrow
Live every moment here to your heart's content
The time that is here may not be tomorrow
Taking the shadow of your eyelashes, when someone comes near
You try to reason with your crazy heart
Your heart just goes on beating
But think, that which is here now
That story may not be here tomorrow
Live every moment here to your heart's content
The time that is here may not be tomorrow
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The greatest thing in my life
You, come to this world...
you, make my life twirl...
this feeling is splendid...
some how both of us feel it...
I, was different in your sigh...
I, dry the tears in my eye...
because of your smile...
I'm feeling so alive....
please don't ever let this moment past...
as we walk into the valley of trust..
I believe in this trembling heart we have...
till every beat of my last breath...
when other leave me by...
I hope you're the last one left...
to dry those gloomy eye...
you are the best thing in my life I ever have...
you, make my life twirl...
this feeling is splendid...
some how both of us feel it...
I, was different in your sigh...
I, dry the tears in my eye...
because of your smile...
I'm feeling so alive....
please don't ever let this moment past...
as we walk into the valley of trust..
I believe in this trembling heart we have...
till every beat of my last breath...
when other leave me by...
I hope you're the last one left...
to dry those gloomy eye...
you are the best thing in my life I ever have...
Thursday, July 8, 2010
*$#)(*&...eee... wallet ku koyak!!!!!!
Cramp... my wallet kuyak d....
Hmpeh betui...
my muneh all mengalir macam air....
cheese... haiz....
To change or not to change a new wallet??
Haiz....
=.=
I'm having vertigo now...
zzzzz
deng.....
Hmpeh betui...
my muneh all mengalir macam air....
cheese... haiz....
To change or not to change a new wallet??
Haiz....
=.=
I'm having vertigo now...
zzzzz
deng.....
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Life is beautiful...
Life is beautiful...
We love until we die...
When you run into my arms...
We steal a perfect moment....
Let the monsters see you smile...
Let them see you smiling....
It's amazing where I'm standing...
There's a lot that we can give....
This is ours just for the moment...
This is ours just for this life time...
We love until we die...
When you run into my arms...
We steal a perfect moment....
Let the monsters see you smile...
Let them see you smiling....
It's amazing where I'm standing...
There's a lot that we can give....
This is ours just for the moment...
This is ours just for this life time...
Sunday, June 20, 2010
The "umph..." and the "hmph..."
I'm practically insane... but theoretically sane...
cousin's wedding went well... every thing go smoothly... to bad no photo take when I'm in my tuxedo...
anyway the pressure are getting higher... financially... as long as my family leave healthy and happy... that enough for me...
yet still in this life there are no perfection even I'm trying my best to achieve the perfection... people still look down at me... people still think of me as week... haiz... look any where you like just don't look at my buttock.... you will fall in love with it...hahaha.... well I'm proud of what I do.. yet there are some who think it is nothing to them... to them as long as they get their things done, they get paid, that's it...because to them, THEY are more important...THEY wanna out shine, it's never about them bringing out the best of others...
Again... I would like to thank my grand pa... my principal...who had done no less to bring out the best of me...
WORLD, you'll see one day, people will not be talking about who Ooi Leng Kai is... but they will be talking about who he had taught to shine and undertake this world to one peace and harmonious place....
cousin's wedding went well... every thing go smoothly... to bad no photo take when I'm in my tuxedo...
anyway the pressure are getting higher... financially... as long as my family leave healthy and happy... that enough for me...
yet still in this life there are no perfection even I'm trying my best to achieve the perfection... people still look down at me... people still think of me as week... haiz... look any where you like just don't look at my buttock.... you will fall in love with it...hahaha.... well I'm proud of what I do.. yet there are some who think it is nothing to them... to them as long as they get their things done, they get paid, that's it...because to them, THEY are more important...THEY wanna out shine, it's never about them bringing out the best of others...
Again... I would like to thank my grand pa... my principal...who had done no less to bring out the best of me...
WORLD, you'll see one day, people will not be talking about who Ooi Leng Kai is... but they will be talking about who he had taught to shine and undertake this world to one peace and harmonious place....
Friday, June 18, 2010
No offense is just a though...
By: NOFX
I've no consideration,
Zero mutual respect...
For billions who suffer from...
Rational thought neglect...
I don't wanna waste a sentence,
I don't want a "convert"-sation
That's gonna end in disdain, disbelief and aggravation...
And I find it's getting harder to hang out...
With grown adults who actually believe..
In Santa Claus and Noah's Ark...
And that their god is the best...
My distaste has turned into detest...
Who would read a 2000 year old medical journal...
Techniques for bloodletting, advice on Trichinosis...
Would you navigate the globe,
with a map of a flat earth?
Without DNA testing?
Would you believe virgin birth?
And I find it's getting painful to put up...
With grown adults who actually believe...
In Unicorns and Creation, and God always takes their side...
That's when my innocent jabbing turns snide...
Thank God for the Grammy?
Thank God for the touchdown?
Thank God for blowing up the enemy's sacred ground?
So how am I supposed to take?
Anything you say seriously?
When you've swapped free will for faith, hope and pre-destiny...
And it's getting agonizing to hang out...
With grown adults who actually believe...
Mythology and history, trump physics and science...
My aversion has turned to abhorrence...
by:NOFX
I've no consideration,
Zero mutual respect...
For billions who suffer from...
Rational thought neglect...
I don't wanna waste a sentence,
I don't want a "convert"-sation
That's gonna end in disdain, disbelief and aggravation...
And I find it's getting harder to hang out...
With grown adults who actually believe..
In Santa Claus and Noah's Ark...
And that their god is the best...
My distaste has turned into detest...
Who would read a 2000 year old medical journal...
Techniques for bloodletting, advice on Trichinosis...
Would you navigate the globe,
with a map of a flat earth?
Without DNA testing?
Would you believe virgin birth?
And I find it's getting painful to put up...
With grown adults who actually believe...
In Unicorns and Creation, and God always takes their side...
That's when my innocent jabbing turns snide...
Thank God for the Grammy?
Thank God for the touchdown?
Thank God for blowing up the enemy's sacred ground?
So how am I supposed to take?
Anything you say seriously?
When you've swapped free will for faith, hope and pre-destiny...
And it's getting agonizing to hang out...
With grown adults who actually believe...
Mythology and history, trump physics and science...
My aversion has turned to abhorrence...
by:NOFX
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Realm Dweller
I'm bak in black...
Was chatting some of the elder in my family...
suddenly we talk about human nature...
no matter who we are where we are from...
we are born evil...
we are born with jealousy...
we are born with evil though...
the desire... lust... and greed....
but one nature with separates up from the animal...
it is called "conscious"...
=================================
Tuesday,
HERS magazine organized an urban photographer award...
I "was" one of the award receiver...
but I was unable to get my model to come along...
so in the end I was forfeited....
well at least I know my art are appreciated... :)
and I have a great time with my friends n love one.... (>.<)
=================================
Was chatting some of the elder in my family...
suddenly we talk about human nature...
no matter who we are where we are from...
we are born evil...
we are born with jealousy...
we are born with evil though...
the desire... lust... and greed....
but one nature with separates up from the animal...
it is called "conscious"...
=================================
Tuesday,
HERS magazine organized an urban photographer award...
I "was" one of the award receiver...
but I was unable to get my model to come along...
so in the end I was forfeited....
well at least I know my art are appreciated... :)
and I have a great time with my friends n love one.... (>.<)
=================================
Monday, June 14, 2010
Trembling
Well what ever is in the past, I shall take it as lesson. I forgive even it's hard to forget. I shall learn to learn.
what I wan to achieve:
1) Get a new house by september
2) Composing Training in July
3) ADE in two years, before 2012
4) My own mini digital art studio before october
5) Clear some of my debt within this year
6) nice relaxing vacation with love one
Okay let's work for it.
what I wan to achieve:
1) Get a new house by september
2) Composing Training in July
3) ADE in two years, before 2012
4) My own mini digital art studio before october
5) Clear some of my debt within this year
6) nice relaxing vacation with love one
Okay let's work for it.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Missunderstood.
Gosh, I get really really upset today...
I feel like being nice to some one doesn't wort at all...
May be toward me every one have this kind of perception I guess...
I keep on asking myself is all the kindness worth it?
well I have my answer...
I'm a stubborn person...
I will still do good to every one...
even thou the world might turn on me....
but I just dunno why... today it seems different...
I reacted... and felt it the other way around...
I mean I have to ask another friend to call up this *****...
to know if he/she is going...
Yet the next freaking day scold me like my time is not as equally important as his/hers...
ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!
Haiz... but life suck if I'm living in a world full of grudge...
SO... If u are out there I'm sorry if I really "menyusahkan" u...
And I have forgive what ever u did that upset me...
I guess i dun have enough rest....
that's why the mental state is unstable...
gosh...
Common it's holiday!!!!
cheer up dude!!!
I feel like being nice to some one doesn't wort at all...
May be toward me every one have this kind of perception I guess...
I keep on asking myself is all the kindness worth it?
well I have my answer...
I'm a stubborn person...
I will still do good to every one...
even thou the world might turn on me....
but I just dunno why... today it seems different...
I reacted... and felt it the other way around...
I mean I have to ask another friend to call up this *****...
to know if he/she is going...
Yet the next freaking day scold me like my time is not as equally important as his/hers...
ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!
Haiz... but life suck if I'm living in a world full of grudge...
SO... If u are out there I'm sorry if I really "menyusahkan" u...
And I have forgive what ever u did that upset me...
I guess i dun have enough rest....
that's why the mental state is unstable...
gosh...
Common it's holiday!!!!
cheer up dude!!!
Faithfully...
Of all the people in the world you choose me...
you took me right out of the blue and into the glee...
when no one care, the one who lean hand was you...
Life pushed me down, yet I choose to get back up...
Because you make a difference and it's no luck...
Your patient lighten me up...
Even when the world think that I'm **** up...
And loving a music man like me...
Ain't always what it's supposed to be...
Yet, you stand by me...
Through space and time...
Always another show...
Wondering where I am...
Lost without you...
And being apart...
Ain't easy on this love...
Two strangers learn to fall in love again...
I get the joy of rediscovering you...
Yet you....
You stand by me
I'm forever yours....
Faithfully....
you took me right out of the blue and into the glee...
when no one care, the one who lean hand was you...
Life pushed me down, yet I choose to get back up...
Because you make a difference and it's no luck...
Your patient lighten me up...
Even when the world think that I'm **** up...
And loving a music man like me...
Ain't always what it's supposed to be...
Yet, you stand by me...
Through space and time...
Always another show...
Wondering where I am...
Lost without you...
And being apart...
Ain't easy on this love...
Two strangers learn to fall in love again...
I get the joy of rediscovering you...
Yet you....
You stand by me
I'm forever yours....
Faithfully....
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Freedom
Just because people choose not to like me...
Doesn't mean that I have to choose to hate them too...
Just because I fail to do what I wan...
Doesn't mean that I have to stop pursuit what I wan...
I'm the one controlling the environment surround me...
I have the power to empower others and see them grow....
I saw a breakup in my work...
doesn't mean that I can't falling in love with it again...
I create those chances that I have...
I'm a free, responsible and a caring man...
yes some times I ain't get no satisfaction....
Yes sometime I get a raindrops falling in my head...
but hey look at the bright sight of my world...
I have such a supportive friends at work...
Such a loving family...
I HAVE WHAT I HAVE... AND I AM THANKFUL FOR I HAVE IT... AND I AIN"T GONNA GIVE UP!
Doesn't mean that I have to choose to hate them too...
Just because I fail to do what I wan...
Doesn't mean that I have to stop pursuit what I wan...
I'm the one controlling the environment surround me...
I have the power to empower others and see them grow....
I saw a breakup in my work...
doesn't mean that I can't falling in love with it again...
I create those chances that I have...
I'm a free, responsible and a caring man...
yes some times I ain't get no satisfaction....
Yes sometime I get a raindrops falling in my head...
but hey look at the bright sight of my world...
I have such a supportive friends at work...
Such a loving family...
I HAVE WHAT I HAVE... AND I AM THANKFUL FOR I HAVE IT... AND I AIN"T GONNA GIVE UP!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Each loving day....
"I realise how lucky I'm... when my life is at the end of the hook"
"I have a wonderful life... I only notice this when I lost it..."
"You have done a lot for me... I'm happy that I get to fall in love with you again for the second time..."
what the heck!!
just let me put this in a simple understandable english....
we are alive... we appreciate the life that we have lah!
have what I have now... because that is what I work for...
love every single living things around me coz when one's gone... seriously I'll gonna miss it....
no need to be philosophical...
life is simple... dun MAKE life complicated... coz that's wat I'm gonna get..
complicated simplicity....
so live life cool!
"I have a wonderful life... I only notice this when I lost it..."
"You have done a lot for me... I'm happy that I get to fall in love with you again for the second time..."
what the heck!!
just let me put this in a simple understandable english....
we are alive... we appreciate the life that we have lah!
have what I have now... because that is what I work for...
love every single living things around me coz when one's gone... seriously I'll gonna miss it....
no need to be philosophical...
life is simple... dun MAKE life complicated... coz that's wat I'm gonna get..
complicated simplicity....
so live life cool!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Road To Prediction
Today a vision come to me again... I really dun like it when there are flashes going on in my mind showing me a scratch of the future... I try not to believe it's true... but yet... most of it happened...and I can't prevent it...live with it...it is so painful...
Gotta learn to let go... and live my life every second that I have! how much time left?
Gotta learn to let go... and live my life every second that I have! how much time left?
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Outcast...
it’s my home, all I have known...
Where I got grown, streets I would roam...
But out of the darkness, I came the farthest..
Among the hardest survival...
Learn from these streets, it can be bleak...
Except no defeat, surrender retreat...
So I'm struggling, fighting to eat...
and I'm wondering when I’ll be free...
So patiently I wait, for that fateful day...
Where I got grown, streets I would roam...
But out of the darkness, I came the farthest..
Among the hardest survival...
Learn from these streets, it can be bleak...
Except no defeat, surrender retreat...
So I'm struggling, fighting to eat...
and I'm wondering when I’ll be free...
So patiently I wait, for that fateful day...
Saturday, May 29, 2010
I've lost my touch
Yesterday, after coming home from wesak prayer. I try on to play some piece I once play... it turn out terrible... argh... no time to practice... have I been given to much of my time to the school? I wonder... I try on my photoshop... it doesn't turn out well either... gosh have I lost my "sand of times"...
I'm not giving up on things I love easily...
I'm resting this few day and practice the my music and digital drawing... man think about it I'm a digital artist..... :)
Hm.. well let's put togather what I like...
I'm a peace lover who enjoy green on earth and like children which allow me to express myself in digital forms.....
:)
I'm not giving up on things I love easily...
I'm resting this few day and practice the my music and digital drawing... man think about it I'm a digital artist..... :)
Hm.. well let's put togather what I like...
I'm a peace lover who enjoy green on earth and like children which allow me to express myself in digital forms.....
:)
Monday, May 24, 2010
A nerd who love a girl....
I’m a nerd...
who don’t know how to flirt...
cover with dirt....
to times I feel hurt...
lover are like love birds...
singing, tweeting and squeak...
even thou at time the tune need some tweak...
yet we’re all still fall in and fall sick....
my oh my...
I really can’t hide....
the feeling inside....
will never subside....
some of us fly...
to the deepest sky...
some of us cry....
through the lullaby....
love is not love if there are no giver...
even there are lot’s of receiver...
love is not love if is not to be shared....
even thou some times life seems to be unfair.....
when I shad a tears...
you wipe it dry...
when I was confuse...
you clear my mind...
when I sold my soul...
u bought it back for me...
you cheer me up...
and give me dignity....
so why was I blind all this while...
is because I’m a nerd all this while...
;p
cheers and “HAVE A NICE DAY”!!!! (>.^)
who don’t know how to flirt...
cover with dirt....
to times I feel hurt...
lover are like love birds...
singing, tweeting and squeak...
even thou at time the tune need some tweak...
yet we’re all still fall in and fall sick....
my oh my...
I really can’t hide....
the feeling inside....
will never subside....
some of us fly...
to the deepest sky...
some of us cry....
through the lullaby....
love is not love if there are no giver...
even there are lot’s of receiver...
love is not love if is not to be shared....
even thou some times life seems to be unfair.....
when I shad a tears...
you wipe it dry...
when I was confuse...
you clear my mind...
when I sold my soul...
u bought it back for me...
you cheer me up...
and give me dignity....
so why was I blind all this while...
is because I’m a nerd all this while...
;p
cheers and “HAVE A NICE DAY”!!!! (>.^)
Friday, May 21, 2010
Chance...
My hand shivering when it touches yours...
My heart beat twice as fact when I hold you near...
As my finger roam across the hair of your...
It's like a fairy tale pledge to appear...
I'm the ogre I'm the beast...
You are the beauty and the princess in it...
Trying to fit in I'm indeed...
But I know you accept me as it is...
If I lay here...
If I just lay here...
Would you lie with me....
And just forget the world?
I don't quite know...
How to say how I feel....
Those three words...
Are said too much....
They're not enough....
shall we let ourself being wrapped in the warmness of tonight moonlight....
My heart beat twice as fact when I hold you near...
As my finger roam across the hair of your...
It's like a fairy tale pledge to appear...
I'm the ogre I'm the beast...
You are the beauty and the princess in it...
Trying to fit in I'm indeed...
But I know you accept me as it is...
If I lay here...
If I just lay here...
Would you lie with me....
And just forget the world?
I don't quite know...
How to say how I feel....
Those three words...
Are said too much....
They're not enough....
shall we let ourself being wrapped in the warmness of tonight moonlight....
Monday, May 17, 2010
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me
Raindrops are falling on my head...
and just like the guy who's feet are too big for his bed,
nothing seems to fit...
those,
raindrops are falling on my head,they keep falling
so I just did me some talking to the sun,
and I said I didn't like the way he got things done,
sleeping on the job
those,
raindrops are falling on my head they keep falling
But there's one thing, I know
the blues they sent to greet me won't defeat me.
It won't be long 'till happiness steps up to greet me
Raindrops keep falling on my head
but that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red.
Crying's not for me, cause
I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining
because I'm free
nothing's worrying me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me
Raindrops keep falling on my head
but that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red
crying 's not for me
Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining
because I'm free
Nothing's worrying me
and just like the guy who's feet are too big for his bed,
nothing seems to fit...
those,
raindrops are falling on my head,they keep falling
so I just did me some talking to the sun,
and I said I didn't like the way he got things done,
sleeping on the job
those,
raindrops are falling on my head they keep falling
But there's one thing, I know
the blues they sent to greet me won't defeat me.
It won't be long 'till happiness steps up to greet me
Raindrops keep falling on my head
but that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red.
Crying's not for me, cause
I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining
because I'm free
nothing's worrying me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me
Raindrops keep falling on my head
but that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red
crying 's not for me
Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining
because I'm free
Nothing's worrying me
Monday, May 10, 2010
Please, accept my vehement protestation of apologies
Million mile away... different land and different bays...
Yet I end up in this mud and clay...
I use to be drunk... I use to fell and flunk...
Always think that every things is junk....
Mistake I make... pretend and fake...
Never knew that now everyones hearts break...
How do I tell you I'm sorry, With a gesture, look or touch...
How is it I never realized, I hurt you so very much...
I do not ask forgiveness, A comfort I'll never deserve...
I merely want to let you know, But I cannot find the nerve...
You called me selfish, I turned away, I festered and I fled...
Cutting and wounding and lashing out, Just to see if you bled...
Betraying and deceiving you, I surely had no right...
To snatch away such a precious gem like dark thief in the night.
month have passed to bring us to this day,
When I present these simple words I never thought to say...
The time has come, it's long past due, to put aside my fear...
Would this confession torture you, or have you longed to hear...
To hear those two forbidden words to vanquish all the pain...
To understand my dearest wish, to know you once again...
With my, 1 Heart... 2 eyes... 5 litre blood... 206 bones...
1.2million Red Cells... 60 trillion D.N.A.'s...
Please, accept my vehement protestation of apologies...
Yet I end up in this mud and clay...
I use to be drunk... I use to fell and flunk...
Always think that every things is junk....
Mistake I make... pretend and fake...
Never knew that now everyones hearts break...
How do I tell you I'm sorry, With a gesture, look or touch...
How is it I never realized, I hurt you so very much...
I do not ask forgiveness, A comfort I'll never deserve...
I merely want to let you know, But I cannot find the nerve...
You called me selfish, I turned away, I festered and I fled...
Cutting and wounding and lashing out, Just to see if you bled...
Betraying and deceiving you, I surely had no right...
To snatch away such a precious gem like dark thief in the night.
month have passed to bring us to this day,
When I present these simple words I never thought to say...
The time has come, it's long past due, to put aside my fear...
Would this confession torture you, or have you longed to hear...
To hear those two forbidden words to vanquish all the pain...
To understand my dearest wish, to know you once again...
With my, 1 Heart... 2 eyes... 5 litre blood... 206 bones...
1.2million Red Cells... 60 trillion D.N.A.'s...
Please, accept my vehement protestation of apologies...
Friday, May 7, 2010
Should I explain?
Today was a tiring day... was quite buzz of at certain things... hm...
1 news which bother me... "L" today told me that "CS" is not happy with me coz I told "K" bout what she wrote in the blog about "K"... Well I already know that this is coming, knowing "K". (no wonder "CS" just keep away further and further from me :( )
My first expression to "L" was "She deserve it!!"... but deep in my heart "crap what have I done...". Hm... conflict flow through me...
should I explain or shouldn't I...
Well that day, my intention of showing it to "K" was to let him know what wrong he have done. I told "K", "Bro, you did this to me so many times, now it is obvious that is not just me who feel it.... u keep on promising but u never deliver..."
Later in noon time, "K" asked me... can I call "CS" to talk to her about the blog... well I say go ahead as long as u are happy with it... "K" called "CS" about the blog... well what ever happen during their conversation I have no idea.. knowing "K" haiz... nvm...
Well people may think what they wan or how they wanted... but I always remember this "if u can't love then hate, if you can't have then love, if you can't hate or love some one then back off...."
In the end, "K" is still my friend... "CS" still the one I love... if both of them detest me so be it... I never love them less... (my be some time my action and and words might hurt some one...)
Well I have decided I no need to explain this to any one... so I just leave it as my soliloquy...
Dear "M", really hope u are here now... i never mean to hurt anyone... but in the end I'm just cursing my own soul.....
1 news which bother me... "L" today told me that "CS" is not happy with me coz I told "K" bout what she wrote in the blog about "K"... Well I already know that this is coming, knowing "K". (no wonder "CS" just keep away further and further from me :( )
My first expression to "L" was "She deserve it!!"... but deep in my heart "crap what have I done...". Hm... conflict flow through me...
should I explain or shouldn't I...
Well that day, my intention of showing it to "K" was to let him know what wrong he have done. I told "K", "Bro, you did this to me so many times, now it is obvious that is not just me who feel it.... u keep on promising but u never deliver..."
Later in noon time, "K" asked me... can I call "CS" to talk to her about the blog... well I say go ahead as long as u are happy with it... "K" called "CS" about the blog... well what ever happen during their conversation I have no idea.. knowing "K" haiz... nvm...
Well people may think what they wan or how they wanted... but I always remember this "if u can't love then hate, if you can't have then love, if you can't hate or love some one then back off...."
In the end, "K" is still my friend... "CS" still the one I love... if both of them detest me so be it... I never love them less... (my be some time my action and and words might hurt some one...)
Well I have decided I no need to explain this to any one... so I just leave it as my soliloquy...
Dear "M", really hope u are here now... i never mean to hurt anyone... but in the end I'm just cursing my own soul.....
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
It started with "M" and end with "N"
I didn't even realise it had been 7 years...
I thought is was just yesterday...
Coz you were so far away...
I'm trying to get someone to accept me....
But I was rejected....
I really don't know you were there all along....
It was 4/4/2010...
And u told me "4" is your lucky one...
I'm all u ever wanted...
I realise... I wanted to be with you too...
Why was I blind all this while...
Drenched in my own fantasies...
You are like an angel...
You guided this dark soul in me...
To belief in the love I once does...
Shall we bath in the blue night...
With the neon twilight as our companion...
till the morning ray wrapped us with warmness...
I shall keep you safe and sound in my arm...
I thought is was just yesterday...
Coz you were so far away...
I'm trying to get someone to accept me....
But I was rejected....
I really don't know you were there all along....
It was 4/4/2010...
And u told me "4" is your lucky one...
I'm all u ever wanted...
I realise... I wanted to be with you too...
Why was I blind all this while...
Drenched in my own fantasies...
You are like an angel...
You guided this dark soul in me...
To belief in the love I once does...
Shall we bath in the blue night...
With the neon twilight as our companion...
till the morning ray wrapped us with warmness...
I shall keep you safe and sound in my arm...
Sunday, May 2, 2010
What I learn from the movie Ip Man 2
"My victory, is never to prove who's stronger; regardless of who we are, we have the right to defend and protect our dignity....." Ip Man
"Kemenangan saya, bukanlah untuk menunjukkan siapa yang paling kuat; tidak kira apa pun status kita sebangai manusia, kita berhak mempertahankan maruah jati diri kita...." Ip Man
peace...
patient...
love for who we are...
"Kemenangan saya, bukanlah untuk menunjukkan siapa yang paling kuat; tidak kira apa pun status kita sebangai manusia, kita berhak mempertahankan maruah jati diri kita...." Ip Man
peace...
patient...
love for who we are...
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Can't seem to fall asleep...
The stars lean down to kiss you...
And I lie awake and miss you...
I'll doze off safe and soundly...
But I'll miss your arms around me...
I'd send my love to you dear...
I wish you were here...
I'll watch the night turn light-blue...
But it's not the same without you...
The silence isn't so bad...
Until I look at my hands and feel sad...
Cause the spaces between my fingers...
Are right where yours fit and linger...
I'll find repose in new ways...
Though I can't sleep in past two days...
Drenched in blue twilight...
I sat in my room all night...
Starring at the four walls...
Hoping you to call...
When violet eyes get brighter...
And heavy wings grow lighter...
I'll forget the world that i knew...
But I swear I won't forget you...
I'd whisper in your ear...
"Oh darling i wish you were here"...
And I lie awake and miss you...
I'll doze off safe and soundly...
But I'll miss your arms around me...
I'd send my love to you dear...
I wish you were here...
I'll watch the night turn light-blue...
But it's not the same without you...
The silence isn't so bad...
Until I look at my hands and feel sad...
Cause the spaces between my fingers...
Are right where yours fit and linger...
I'll find repose in new ways...
Though I can't sleep in past two days...
Drenched in blue twilight...
I sat in my room all night...
Starring at the four walls...
Hoping you to call...
When violet eyes get brighter...
And heavy wings grow lighter...
I'll forget the world that i knew...
But I swear I won't forget you...
I'd whisper in your ear...
"Oh darling i wish you were here"...
Monday, April 19, 2010
I still though it was yesterday...
"Yesterday as my life seems so far away...."
After long tired of running here and there in school, I decided to go back early today. On my way, got call from Aliek so we went out to our favorite and usual hangout place @ NZX.It was just like other night chatting and bragging bout politics, religion, girls and life. Suddenly we reach to his marriage topic. He is getting married, next year. Big cost, big decision and it is once in a life time even for most of us. Cn't believe it, it had been 10 years we are friends. Now he is moving to another steps in life. The Family. So out of sudden, I feel like it was still yesterday both he and me sitting in a cafe some where in Kingfisher Sepanggar Sabah...drinking out favorite Tea Madras... gosh... time goes by really fast... Just this morning I though I was dead... it's really hard to breath... my mind was wondering in the realm of no where. Can't even move for a while. Thinking about it, really spook me.
Gpa, I'm freak, I'm weird to other with this weird abilities which I can't control. I really hope other would understand what I've gone through as there are no scientific explanation. Is this what I get for being "Inquiry Spirited". I know I question God, religion and faith a lot. I also know our ancestor practice animism and believe in supernatural being, angels, deities, and God. I just can't help questioning them it. The are so many "why" yet no answer. Yes...I suddenly remember what you say: "you come... you see... then you decide whether to learn or not" Buddha quoted this.
Buddha never claim he was the son of God... Never he claim he was a prophet... he never compare... he just teach... he never say what he teach is a religion.... not it was the words of God... he told them you wan to attain alightement you learn... and so they learn...
Buddhism is usually considered a religion, but is also commonly described as a "spiritual philosophy", because it generally lacks an absolute creator, God....
If there's are really heaven and hell, where are all the stars?? what if there are alien out in the big universe, the milky way, do they have heaven and hell too?? Hm.... I wonder...
After long tired of running here and there in school, I decided to go back early today. On my way, got call from Aliek so we went out to our favorite and usual hangout place @ NZX.It was just like other night chatting and bragging bout politics, religion, girls and life. Suddenly we reach to his marriage topic. He is getting married, next year. Big cost, big decision and it is once in a life time even for most of us. Cn't believe it, it had been 10 years we are friends. Now he is moving to another steps in life. The Family. So out of sudden, I feel like it was still yesterday both he and me sitting in a cafe some where in Kingfisher Sepanggar Sabah...drinking out favorite Tea Madras... gosh... time goes by really fast... Just this morning I though I was dead... it's really hard to breath... my mind was wondering in the realm of no where. Can't even move for a while. Thinking about it, really spook me.
Gpa, I'm freak, I'm weird to other with this weird abilities which I can't control. I really hope other would understand what I've gone through as there are no scientific explanation. Is this what I get for being "Inquiry Spirited". I know I question God, religion and faith a lot. I also know our ancestor practice animism and believe in supernatural being, angels, deities, and God. I just can't help questioning them it. The are so many "why" yet no answer. Yes...I suddenly remember what you say: "you come... you see... then you decide whether to learn or not" Buddha quoted this.
Buddha never claim he was the son of God... Never he claim he was a prophet... he never compare... he just teach... he never say what he teach is a religion.... not it was the words of God... he told them you wan to attain alightement you learn... and so they learn...
Buddhism is usually considered a religion, but is also commonly described as a "spiritual philosophy", because it generally lacks an absolute creator, God....
If there's are really heaven and hell, where are all the stars?? what if there are alien out in the big universe, the milky way, do they have heaven and hell too?? Hm.... I wonder...
Sunday, April 18, 2010
What about now!
LIfe will always knock me down...
But I can choose to get back up...
I ain't the pretty face in town...
Neither a cheap steak which can't be sold out...
I'm always a friend...
but you never make me feel like one...
just a stranger who tying to fit in...
anyway, I shall not complain...
may be I was caught in refrain...
I shall treat you with honor and respect...
Because that's what I choose to be....
"retrospect of my past 2009"
But I can choose to get back up...
I ain't the pretty face in town...
Neither a cheap steak which can't be sold out...
I'm always a friend...
but you never make me feel like one...
just a stranger who tying to fit in...
anyway, I shall not complain...
may be I was caught in refrain...
I shall treat you with honor and respect...
Because that's what I choose to be....
"retrospect of my past 2009"
Friday, April 16, 2010
It's Not So Bad
So you sailed away...
Into a grey sky morning...
Now I'm here to stay...
Love can be so boring...
Nothing's quite the same now...
I just say your name now...
What was it you wanted...
Could it be I'm haunted...
But it's not so bad...
You're only the best I ever had...
You don't want me back...
You're just the best I ever had...
The best I ever had...
Into a grey sky morning...
Now I'm here to stay...
Love can be so boring...
Nothing's quite the same now...
I just say your name now...
What was it you wanted...
Could it be I'm haunted...
But it's not so bad...
You're only the best I ever had...
You don't want me back...
You're just the best I ever had...
The best I ever had...
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I'm weird...
I don't know some how I feel so freaking funny today....
I have this mind set that's tell me weird weird stuff....
I plan to go to HELL...
And with God willing I shall bring all those from HELL up to HEAVEN!!!
Dear God am I crazy... Have any of your prophet or angel...ever think about that????
I guess I'm some times.... :)
I have this mind set that's tell me weird weird stuff....
I plan to go to HELL...
And with God willing I shall bring all those from HELL up to HEAVEN!!!
Dear God am I crazy... Have any of your prophet or angel...ever think about that????
I guess I'm some times.... :)
mischievous...
"I have a friend an artist and also a teacher now station in the east... he once have a lovely girl friend.... they were happy... but one day he come home and saw something mischievous in the girlfriend laptop... an adultery conversation of his girlfriend with another guy... he was shock and disappointed... but being kind hearted... he never say much... once she was back to her hometown... he decided to break up...but not just because of her action...but also they way she socialising with other guy...."
so many break-ups case this day and so many people change their relationship status in facebook to "in relationship".... it's a weird world...
Some are loyal.... some are not...
Some are sincere.... some are not....
Some are serious... most are playful...
what ever it is... it's still part of my writings.... as for me I love is something divine... not something that can be traded by adultery...
so many break-ups case this day and so many people change their relationship status in facebook to "in relationship".... it's a weird world...
Some are loyal.... some are not...
Some are sincere.... some are not....
Some are serious... most are playful...
what ever it is... it's still part of my writings.... as for me I love is something divine... not something that can be traded by adultery...
Monday, April 12, 2010
From Dad
Dear kai,
I understand the burden you are having. Being the eldest, taking care of the young ones. Taking care of your mum and me. I know what's going on, take care of yourself. Be strong and don't forget the love ones. Always be happy and cheerful as you were before. Be the cheerful boy you once were!!!
love,
DAD
I understand the burden you are having. Being the eldest, taking care of the young ones. Taking care of your mum and me. I know what's going on, take care of yourself. Be strong and don't forget the love ones. Always be happy and cheerful as you were before. Be the cheerful boy you once were!!!
love,
DAD
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Topic on Women?
Last couple of weeks, I went out with my friends to Cheras. While enjoying the roasted pork, we had a hot discussion on women’s roles in the society. Of course, being the sole man in the group didn’t help, so i try to be politically neutral. Ironically, it was the girls themselves who seem to take less pride on such gender issue. One female friend ask: "Frankly, what profession in this world that the women are highly associated with?" I responded by saying: "Fashion? Modelling?". She immediately answered "But they are still under men! Most established fahion designers are men! Sigh!". Then, she further elaborated how a lot of fields are dominated by men. Another female friend interrupted: "I know, it must be prostitution! The world oldest profession and it was and still is ruled by women! Men are slaves to that! Hahaha" Her response drew laughter from all of us, though the point she was trying to make is clear.
Her statement made me realise just how women are positioned in this world. I mean though they are given a lot of so-called equal rights, their contribution to the society is rather not as significant as men’s. Even their life is partially controlled especially by traditional thought. More often that not, a woman has to resort to sexual appeal or persuasion (if not sexual intercourse) when wanting to be on top. Top model, top singer, top CEO, etc, rely heavily on this, though it may not be openly reported. But this does not prove that men are strong. In fact, men should instead be considered as weak, because they can fall easily to such temptation. So, does that mean sex is the only weapon or tool women are good at?
I have encountered several female friends who are so desperate to get decent men as their mate or life partner that they dare to do whatever it takes including using sex as a bait. Even on social networking sites like Facebook, Friendster, Myspace, Tagged, you’ll definitely see young girls trying to lure attention by posting semi-nude photos. Of course, many of them are also making money through online sex shows available on the net.... You’ll be shocked to see how many educated women are going into prostitution. For them, it’s easy money and perhaps sex is in fact their most effective asset, something they can really rely on...
But then again, media has indeed played a great part in influencing such gender stereotypes. Look at the programmes we have in tv, makeover here, makeover there… trying to tell ppl if u dun have the look, u won’t have the best in life- that includes men, career, even good service in restaurant.
Which eventually come down to yet another topic... The discrimination and labeling... "If u are fat then u are ugly...if u are ugly then people don't like you... if people don't like you uare better off dead...so as a conclusion follow the society or die like the rest" :P
What's your thought?
Her statement made me realise just how women are positioned in this world. I mean though they are given a lot of so-called equal rights, their contribution to the society is rather not as significant as men’s. Even their life is partially controlled especially by traditional thought. More often that not, a woman has to resort to sexual appeal or persuasion (if not sexual intercourse) when wanting to be on top. Top model, top singer, top CEO, etc, rely heavily on this, though it may not be openly reported. But this does not prove that men are strong. In fact, men should instead be considered as weak, because they can fall easily to such temptation. So, does that mean sex is the only weapon or tool women are good at?
I have encountered several female friends who are so desperate to get decent men as their mate or life partner that they dare to do whatever it takes including using sex as a bait. Even on social networking sites like Facebook, Friendster, Myspace, Tagged, you’ll definitely see young girls trying to lure attention by posting semi-nude photos. Of course, many of them are also making money through online sex shows available on the net.... You’ll be shocked to see how many educated women are going into prostitution. For them, it’s easy money and perhaps sex is in fact their most effective asset, something they can really rely on...
But then again, media has indeed played a great part in influencing such gender stereotypes. Look at the programmes we have in tv, makeover here, makeover there… trying to tell ppl if u dun have the look, u won’t have the best in life- that includes men, career, even good service in restaurant.
Which eventually come down to yet another topic... The discrimination and labeling... "If u are fat then u are ugly...if u are ugly then people don't like you... if people don't like you uare better off dead...so as a conclusion follow the society or die like the rest" :P
What's your thought?
Untitled
I was so happy to see him enjoying himself today...
but in me, still....
the feeling of sadness still over flowing....
I really glad to be his teacher...
such a beautiful soul...
strong...
never care about what will happen in the future...
just living in the present...
happily.... bubbly....
Me on the other hand worrying about what lies in the future...
keep on thinking about tomorrow have installed...
worrying about what to do tomorrow...
what if there are no more tomorrow?
silence indeed....
How I wish the feeling of love would just burst freely...
rather then holding it back and keep it to myself...
how I wish it could be shared and people would see what I see...
I'm not a prophet....
I'm just a person...
but what have I learn from my student?
but in me, still....
the feeling of sadness still over flowing....
I really glad to be his teacher...
such a beautiful soul...
strong...
never care about what will happen in the future...
just living in the present...
happily.... bubbly....
Me on the other hand worrying about what lies in the future...
keep on thinking about tomorrow have installed...
worrying about what to do tomorrow...
what if there are no more tomorrow?
silence indeed....
How I wish the feeling of love would just burst freely...
rather then holding it back and keep it to myself...
how I wish it could be shared and people would see what I see...
I'm not a prophet....
I'm just a person...
but what have I learn from my student?
Friday, April 9, 2010
He was here...
I saw death today...
I can't imagine what life would be later...
would it be cold...
would it be lonely..
would one see judgement day?
yet he was calm...
bubbly smiling and hanging around...
trying his best to snap the photo of happiness...
so that other would remember him as who he is...
funny...
yet...
it's really heavy...
really really is...
I'm holding tears as I saw him...
holding it as tight as I can....
please... let there be no pain in the transience.....
I can't imagine what life would be later...
would it be cold...
would it be lonely..
would one see judgement day?
yet he was calm...
bubbly smiling and hanging around...
trying his best to snap the photo of happiness...
so that other would remember him as who he is...
funny...
yet...
it's really heavy...
really really is...
I'm holding tears as I saw him...
holding it as tight as I can....
please... let there be no pain in the transience.....
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
The Call
As I was saying previously... 2 month to go...
I received a call today... and it doesn't sound good...
Had small tear running down my eye...
Well I guess that's life...
Some come some goes..
Yet the fact that at this young age...
To many complication...
How could the one who live take it...
Well, leave it to them...
Apart from being a human is the ability to adapt...
adapt to changes...
adapt to differences...
Hopefully things goes well...
Hopefully no heart broken...
Hopefully no much tear flowed...
Hopefully no pain suffered....
I received a call today... and it doesn't sound good...
Had small tear running down my eye...
Well I guess that's life...
Some come some goes..
Yet the fact that at this young age...
To many complication...
How could the one who live take it...
Well, leave it to them...
Apart from being a human is the ability to adapt...
adapt to changes...
adapt to differences...
Hopefully things goes well...
Hopefully no heart broken...
Hopefully no much tear flowed...
Hopefully no pain suffered....
Monday, April 5, 2010
Dear, for you...
Life After You lyrics
Songwriters: Daughtry, Chris; James, Brett; Kroeger, Chad; Moi, Joey;
Ten miles from town and I just broke down
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know
Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you so I've started runnin'
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wastin' my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm runnin' back to tell you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do, yeah
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' 'bout all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through, yeah
Know there's no life after you....
Songwriters: Daughtry, Chris; James, Brett; Kroeger, Chad; Moi, Joey;
Ten miles from town and I just broke down
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know
Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you so I've started runnin'
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wastin' my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm runnin' back to tell you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do, yeah
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' 'bout all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through, yeah
Know there's no life after you....
Sunday, April 4, 2010
murmur
Acting childish seems to come naturally, but acting like an adult, no matter how old we are, just doesn't come easy to us....それが、愛でしょう...
Friday, April 2, 2010
Full moon Sway....
Full moon sway...
Gently in the night of one fine day...
On my way...
Looking for moment with my dear...
In this rat race...
We forgot or overlooked the very basic value of mankind...
In this time of grace...
Reach out to the arms that needed the most...
How many dreams will end...
How long can life pretend....
How many time will love passed me by...
Till I find you again?
It's a wonderful world out there...
When will there be a time to say "I love you"?
Gently in the night of one fine day...
On my way...
Looking for moment with my dear...
In this rat race...
We forgot or overlooked the very basic value of mankind...
In this time of grace...
Reach out to the arms that needed the most...
How many dreams will end...
How long can life pretend....
How many time will love passed me by...
Till I find you again?
It's a wonderful world out there...
When will there be a time to say "I love you"?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Patient...
Gracious sake... I have make the same mistake again... gosh.. when will I learn... why do I have to let my anger go at some girls... argh... they are innocent... they are trying to be my friend and yet I'm scaring them away.... dammit... I just dun't understand why am i so angry about this girl that I like...she done nothing wrong...darn.... darn.... darn... I really hate myself right now... "tshisio~"....I hate the fact that this thing keep on happening over and over again....F@#$.... argh...... why why why......
How I really wish I could hold her hand and look her in the eye and say "I love you..." at this moment....
silly me.... (T.T)...
How I really wish I could hold her hand and look her in the eye and say "I love you..." at this moment....
silly me.... (T.T)...
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The Guardian
Feel like having a cigarette now...yet promises is promises...still human have the tendency to break it...
Grandma finally awake, I'm relief... but yet there will come a time where she will be leaving... life... is to much of suffering... I'm a valiant... a super bad valiant... I'm keeping my heart strong and my head clear... yet there are so many obstacles lies ahead... I just wish I have more courage to face it... how I wist there are no more heart broken in that process.. sign... I do not wish to be the man who sold the world...I searched for a foreign land, for years and years I roamed.....I gazed a gazeless stare, I've walked a million hills yet... nil...
There are so many conflict in this word...
yet it is heard to resolve it...
I'm being as optimistic as I can...
still the demon possessed me...
spoken in a language of alluring...
threaten my faith...
my believe...
Yet I know...
I'm agains the majority...
I'm always the black sheep...
I'm always the vinegar which spoils every thing...
I'm prepare to go to hell..
but yet will hell even accept me...
every one bother to go to heaven...
yet, doing rubbish...
create mistrust...
don't care attitude...
pretenders....
God u really wan them in Heaven...
anyway it's Your choice...
some time I have had enough with this world...
but at time I saw children smiling... crying...
the world look so wonderful and peaceful...
It make me wonder how does all this wonderful kid grow up to be the pretenders....
be the world dictator...
and then I realise...
is because of what they learn...
at time I think...
what a powerful occupation I have...
being able to change the course of the world...
yet..
those that are doing it just make fun of it...
yup...
these are the people who want to go to heaven....
* affection....
Grandma finally awake, I'm relief... but yet there will come a time where she will be leaving... life... is to much of suffering... I'm a valiant... a super bad valiant... I'm keeping my heart strong and my head clear... yet there are so many obstacles lies ahead... I just wish I have more courage to face it... how I wist there are no more heart broken in that process.. sign... I do not wish to be the man who sold the world...I searched for a foreign land, for years and years I roamed.....I gazed a gazeless stare, I've walked a million hills yet... nil...
There are so many conflict in this word...
yet it is heard to resolve it...
I'm being as optimistic as I can...
still the demon possessed me...
spoken in a language of alluring...
threaten my faith...
my believe...
Yet I know...
I'm agains the majority...
I'm always the black sheep...
I'm always the vinegar which spoils every thing...
I'm prepare to go to hell..
but yet will hell even accept me...
every one bother to go to heaven...
yet, doing rubbish...
create mistrust...
don't care attitude...
pretenders....
God u really wan them in Heaven...
anyway it's Your choice...
some time I have had enough with this world...
but at time I saw children smiling... crying...
the world look so wonderful and peaceful...
It make me wonder how does all this wonderful kid grow up to be the pretenders....
be the world dictator...
and then I realise...
is because of what they learn...
at time I think...
what a powerful occupation I have...
being able to change the course of the world...
yet..
those that are doing it just make fun of it...
yup...
these are the people who want to go to heaven....
* affection....
Monday, March 29, 2010
The Journey
I'm a fragile human...
born as a man...
be true as a friend...
Every thing seem so bright tonight...
I breath slower after each fight...
I have fail the light...
I'm in the dark side of the force...
But my soul promised me I shall never lost...
even in the mist of chaos...
Feeling and emotion are gift...
I suffocated and can't breath...
It flows and drag me beneath...
born as a man...
be true as a friend...
Every thing seem so bright tonight...
I breath slower after each fight...
I have fail the light...
I'm in the dark side of the force...
But my soul promised me I shall never lost...
even in the mist of chaos...
Feeling and emotion are gift...
I suffocated and can't breath...
It flows and drag me beneath...
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Gma hospitalise again...
Home...
alone...
I hate it!!!!!
argh!!!!!!!!!
I hate this feeling now...
the worry...
the insecure....
I'm so stress....
why does this feeling installed into me....
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
alone...
I hate it!!!!!
argh!!!!!!!!!
I hate this feeling now...
the worry...
the insecure....
I'm so stress....
why does this feeling installed into me....
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, March 26, 2010
from Me...
GOD,
I understand how You feel...
when they have trouble...
they come to You...
when they are enjoying their time with their friendz...
they forget You...
make me feel like a tool...
just like how every body else treated me...
haiz...
am I too kind to be a tool...
am I too dumb to be a fool...
why do I even have this kind of feeling at the first place...
haiz...
messy messy messy.....
who am I in the end of the day...
may be I have to much expectation on them...
just like You...
I never wanna label any one...
this thing just pass through my though...
I guess I too mean to the people I care...
to say such thing and ignore them...
haiz.....
again I ain't giving up.....
I understand how You feel...
when they have trouble...
they come to You...
when they are enjoying their time with their friendz...
they forget You...
make me feel like a tool...
just like how every body else treated me...
haiz...
am I too kind to be a tool...
am I too dumb to be a fool...
why do I even have this kind of feeling at the first place...
haiz...
messy messy messy.....
who am I in the end of the day...
may be I have to much expectation on them...
just like You...
I never wanna label any one...
this thing just pass through my though...
I guess I too mean to the people I care...
to say such thing and ignore them...
haiz.....
again I ain't giving up.....
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Hard To Breath
The air is getting thiner...
You suffocate from the super massive pollution...
Slowly as end of the world drowned us with it's force....
My heart is beating faster...
My mind is getting sleepier...
Can't seems to be awake...
Will the heart still accept...
The doubt installed in the sky...
Searching for the lost soul...
The feeling of losing...
Insecurity of the beaten....
I shall not give up!
You suffocate from the super massive pollution...
Slowly as end of the world drowned us with it's force....
My heart is beating faster...
My mind is getting sleepier...
Can't seems to be awake...
Will the heart still accept...
The doubt installed in the sky...
Searching for the lost soul...
The feeling of losing...
Insecurity of the beaten....
I shall not give up!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Hypocrisy...
Am I a hypocrite?
As I walked into the valley of sorrow...
Yet Still showing my fake senile smile to the world...
Am I a hypocrite?
As my soul are drained in the mud of insanity...
Yet still showing my fake facial to the world...
no I'm not!!
I just have to fight!!
2 and a half month to go...
Then...
My fate will be decided...
Grandpa always say...
the nearer to the end the more we need to celebrate life....
LIFE...
WhAT do you have?
P/s
I always belief that when u love some one...
u hope for nothing in return...
but at time it make us wonder...
why love some one who don't deserve that love?
why love some one who don't appreciate it?
but then again...
me...
I still belief that no matter how much love I have...
it is enough for every one...
every single one...
why let fate decide when I make a choice...
As I walked into the valley of sorrow...
Yet Still showing my fake senile smile to the world...
Am I a hypocrite?
As my soul are drained in the mud of insanity...
Yet still showing my fake facial to the world...
no I'm not!!
I just have to fight!!
2 and a half month to go...
Then...
My fate will be decided...
Grandpa always say...
the nearer to the end the more we need to celebrate life....
LIFE...
WhAT do you have?
P/s
I always belief that when u love some one...
u hope for nothing in return...
but at time it make us wonder...
why love some one who don't deserve that love?
why love some one who don't appreciate it?
but then again...
me...
I still belief that no matter how much love I have...
it is enough for every one...
every single one...
why let fate decide when I make a choice...
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Choices...
Priority... option... choices...
there never been an option in my life..
I always put every thing and every one as a priority...
coz that's my choice...
there never been an option in my life..
I always put every thing and every one as a priority...
coz that's my choice...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I have to fight...
I want to believe forever...
I want to keep thinking until the end...
There should be some meaning to my life ...
Smiling with cold eyes...
Do guys who have had their souls violated...
Feel the pain of shedding tears?
In this kind of world where you can't say what you want ...
I'll keep on living without deceiving myself ...
Now facing it head on...
In order to keep my pride ...
I have to fight...
Sitting on the stairs...
We talked of unending dreams...
Until dawn...
The seasons change unconcerned...
I unconsciously drop my gaze...
Am I getting used to being swept away?
In this kind of world where I can't have even small dreams...
I want to always and at any time like who I am...
Because I want to treasure...
These days that I live with freedom...
Now I'll walk the path that I want to...
I don't want to be manipulated by filthy lies and words...
I don't want to turn my eyes away from my true feelings...
I want to keep thinking until the end...
There should be some meaning to my life ...
Smiling with cold eyes...
Do guys who have had their souls violated...
Feel the pain of shedding tears?
In this kind of world where you can't say what you want ...
I'll keep on living without deceiving myself ...
Now facing it head on...
In order to keep my pride ...
I have to fight...
Sitting on the stairs...
We talked of unending dreams...
Until dawn...
The seasons change unconcerned...
I unconsciously drop my gaze...
Am I getting used to being swept away?
In this kind of world where I can't have even small dreams...
I want to always and at any time like who I am...
Because I want to treasure...
These days that I live with freedom...
Now I'll walk the path that I want to...
I don't want to be manipulated by filthy lies and words...
I don't want to turn my eyes away from my true feelings...
Sunday, March 14, 2010
When I was young...
It's funny how time fly by fast... Yesterday I'm boy...now...I'm not sure what am I... I meet my teacher...My old school teacher... the only memory she had about me was "cough smoking in school and get public caning by the principal..." hahaha... we share the story and had a good laugh about it... she was supprise I've become a teacher... with my degree... I know... stupid right... I told her I find love in education...not teaching...
Later I go out and had a coffee with some old friends... to my surprise I saw my principal we sat togather... and suddenly my principal say "Kamu ni gathering Kumpulan enam jahanam ker.." then only I realise..OMG.. again the 6 jahanam are reunited!! hahahaha.... Now I know people will always remember the bad thing that I do... But time change, things are changing...
I used to smoke... run around after school... playing truant... I never submit my homework... I always late for school... fighting in school (may be that's why master Sammy took me in Taekwondo and train for the national team =P)... gosh think about it it is kindda fun being the bad boy in school... when years later they took me in as prefect and promote me as head prefects... I can't belief it myself...
Haiz life... Gpa...I guess you shaped me alot... I really dun understand why u allow me to smoke when I was young...you allow me to ponteng... now I sort of realise a lil bit... pitty to those who live a perfect life... hahaha...thanks gpa... I love ya... actually, I kindda miss the time we smoking togather-gather hahahha... with your story and every thing...:)
I miss this town... I miss the bad ass younger me... wild and free....
Later I go out and had a coffee with some old friends... to my surprise I saw my principal we sat togather... and suddenly my principal say "Kamu ni gathering Kumpulan enam jahanam ker.." then only I realise..OMG.. again the 6 jahanam are reunited!! hahahaha.... Now I know people will always remember the bad thing that I do... But time change, things are changing...
I used to smoke... run around after school... playing truant... I never submit my homework... I always late for school... fighting in school (may be that's why master Sammy took me in Taekwondo and train for the national team =P)... gosh think about it it is kindda fun being the bad boy in school... when years later they took me in as prefect and promote me as head prefects... I can't belief it myself...
Haiz life... Gpa...I guess you shaped me alot... I really dun understand why u allow me to smoke when I was young...you allow me to ponteng... now I sort of realise a lil bit... pitty to those who live a perfect life... hahaha...thanks gpa... I love ya... actually, I kindda miss the time we smoking togather-gather hahahha... with your story and every thing...:)
I miss this town... I miss the bad ass younger me... wild and free....
Friday, March 12, 2010
I'm just every bodies tools....
Who am I to voice or shout...
Who am I to love or doubt...
who am I to walk high and proud...
who am I to say "I'm not your slave"...
who am I to say "No"...
who am I to say "I love you"...
who am I to say "it's not fair"...
I'm nobody to say no...
I'm nobody to say love...
I'm nobody to say it's not fair...
But I'm that someone who will be there when you need help...
I'll be that some one who stood by you and ready to risk my own life...
I'll be that some one who will never give up...
I'll be that some one who will ..... for ever...
======================================
my health condition is not very good lately. coughing... headache... friends ask me to rest... the more I rest the more pain I feel... I need to do something... else my brain will start getting pain if I don't.. hove I wish I could be normal....
life is really short... I really hope love would come easily...and hate won't exist... sometimes...at times, something precious so near yet seem so far... it's my fate I guess...but can't I fight agains fate...spread my wing and fly...do the extreme which I never do...go agains the normal..well....I guess I' always go agains the norm..:)
I submitted diploma form.... but I guess I know better...even if I get it...I won't go..... coz I love it here...the kids the friends....the joy and pain I had here...is a wonderful experience..... alot of ups and downs.... love and heart broken.... hahaha...I guess this is the right place for me...
people may say, don't I have a dream.I'll tell them...here I have more then just a dream I have reality... I can be astronaut.... sailor...pilot....everything...and have fun doing it... if just the people can see...say what they wan....I love it here.... I love it when kids make me angry...and come and hug me an hour later.....I love it when a kids cry and smile a minute later.......
they make me smile.... while the work pull me down....I just hope what I found here is more then just love.... but a big great family...........
Who am I to love or doubt...
who am I to walk high and proud...
who am I to say "I'm not your slave"...
who am I to say "No"...
who am I to say "I love you"...
who am I to say "it's not fair"...
I'm nobody to say no...
I'm nobody to say love...
I'm nobody to say it's not fair...
But I'm that someone who will be there when you need help...
I'll be that some one who stood by you and ready to risk my own life...
I'll be that some one who will never give up...
I'll be that some one who will ..... for ever...
======================================
my health condition is not very good lately. coughing... headache... friends ask me to rest... the more I rest the more pain I feel... I need to do something... else my brain will start getting pain if I don't.. hove I wish I could be normal....
life is really short... I really hope love would come easily...and hate won't exist... sometimes...at times, something precious so near yet seem so far... it's my fate I guess...but can't I fight agains fate...spread my wing and fly...do the extreme which I never do...go agains the normal..well....I guess I' always go agains the norm..:)
I submitted diploma form.... but I guess I know better...even if I get it...I won't go..... coz I love it here...the kids the friends....the joy and pain I had here...is a wonderful experience..... alot of ups and downs.... love and heart broken.... hahaha...I guess this is the right place for me...
people may say, don't I have a dream.I'll tell them...here I have more then just a dream I have reality... I can be astronaut.... sailor...pilot....everything...and have fun doing it... if just the people can see...say what they wan....I love it here.... I love it when kids make me angry...and come and hug me an hour later.....I love it when a kids cry and smile a minute later.......
they make me smile.... while the work pull me down....I just hope what I found here is more then just love.... but a big great family...........
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Thanks "V"
Fate brought us together...
And fate place us apart...
Fate open my eye...
Get me closer to your heart...
Thank you for you...
for guiding me in the dark...
I wish you happy...
and your wedding dress spark...
================
congrat, thank for the invitation... but it's in Sabah ba... takut sia nangis nih teda urang pujuk ;p.
thank for calling me and the long chat... bakar sudah telinga sia nih....
even you with some one else... you always support me thank you... (nanti si panjang jelous macam mana ba nie ;p)
ok I will do my best to lost my belly.... I'm doing it actually cuma shape sia saja ba yang sama...berat turun suda...
I will always love ya...
thank you... my super EX-gal... smoga happy di sisi bakal suami mu... ;p
I dedicate this song to you:
And fate place us apart...
Fate open my eye...
Get me closer to your heart...
Thank you for you...
for guiding me in the dark...
I wish you happy...
and your wedding dress spark...
================
congrat, thank for the invitation... but it's in Sabah ba... takut sia nangis nih teda urang pujuk ;p.
thank for calling me and the long chat... bakar sudah telinga sia nih....
even you with some one else... you always support me thank you... (nanti si panjang jelous macam mana ba nie ;p)
ok I will do my best to lost my belly.... I'm doing it actually cuma shape sia saja ba yang sama...berat turun suda...
I will always love ya...
thank you... my super EX-gal... smoga happy di sisi bakal suami mu... ;p
I dedicate this song to you:
Friday, March 5, 2010
The wreathe
wilted by words...
unable to loco-mote...
tide up in and between....
is this karma?
Is it true our life have been set...
is it true it is our fate....
un fortuned...
hexed....
jinxed....
(T.T)
unable to loco-mote...
tide up in and between....
is this karma?
Is it true our life have been set...
is it true it is our fate....
un fortuned...
hexed....
jinxed....
(T.T)
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Ugly but nice to see
Naive may I be...
In this world of monstrosity...
sacrificial of the truth...
to end the uncertainty....
the memory of togetherness....
why oh why...
can I get rid of the thought..
and pressure in the satan world..
shall I leave this body only it gone?
oh, I really know what I'm fighting for...
and izzit worth dying for...
why Am I still thinking of it... the impermanent....
dear creator...I'm just a tool after all...
I'm just a fool... and I'm doing my out most best to raise up.... and up... till I reach the sky...
In this world of monstrosity...
sacrificial of the truth...
to end the uncertainty....
the memory of togetherness....
why oh why...
can I get rid of the thought..
and pressure in the satan world..
shall I leave this body only it gone?
oh, I really know what I'm fighting for...
and izzit worth dying for...
why Am I still thinking of it... the impermanent....
dear creator...I'm just a tool after all...
I'm just a fool... and I'm doing my out most best to raise up.... and up... till I reach the sky...
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
好朋友
曾經以為等待會改變什麼 你總會屬於我
但是最後時間證明了 你只喜歡我
你說我比較像你的好朋友 只是不小心擁抱著
你道歉 你難過 於是我給你笑容
誰在乎我的心 還會不會寂寞
如果愛情是五線譜 我曾希望用全音符
吟唱出 愛上你 那完整的幸福
當你的心沒有耳朵 即使我為你唱著歌
你也只 看見我哭了
但是最後時間證明了 你只喜歡我
你說我比較像你的好朋友 只是不小心擁抱著
你道歉 你難過 於是我給你笑容
誰在乎我的心 還會不會寂寞
如果愛情是五線譜 我曾希望用全音符
吟唱出 愛上你 那完整的幸福
當你的心沒有耳朵 即使我為你唱著歌
你也只 看見我哭了
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
WHAT KEPT ME ALIVE
Sometimes I wonder why am I still kept alive...
with all the suffering I've gone through...
The world never change...
I'm doing my best to change...
when the pain in my head come...
It seems like the world all over me...
each time I'm in the hype of my spirit...
something pull it down....
every day is a new day...
but yet same old tragedy pulls me under...
gandpa I really hope to get a guidance from you...
I feel like an idiot doing every thing to pleases every one...
at the same times misses every second of my entire life.....
I love educating children....
that why I left the so called hight payed job in the multinational company...
but it seems like I end up in the same old dunk...
where people only care about their pride and making money....
why aren't there PASSION any longer in this world?
an idiot trapped in an idiotic world....
haiz...
I just hope I could have written something more nice and beautiful like I used to....
The world around me seem to me this way i guess...
"crimson of life is far beyond...
thy shall tweet the path of ceylon...
it blooms in the heart...
but perceived the the sight....
where ever I go there fight...
like roses thorn... beauty yet deceiving...."
with all the suffering I've gone through...
The world never change...
I'm doing my best to change...
when the pain in my head come...
It seems like the world all over me...
each time I'm in the hype of my spirit...
something pull it down....
every day is a new day...
but yet same old tragedy pulls me under...
gandpa I really hope to get a guidance from you...
I feel like an idiot doing every thing to pleases every one...
at the same times misses every second of my entire life.....
I love educating children....
that why I left the so called hight payed job in the multinational company...
but it seems like I end up in the same old dunk...
where people only care about their pride and making money....
why aren't there PASSION any longer in this world?
an idiot trapped in an idiotic world....
haiz...
I just hope I could have written something more nice and beautiful like I used to....
The world around me seem to me this way i guess...
"crimson of life is far beyond...
thy shall tweet the path of ceylon...
it blooms in the heart...
but perceived the the sight....
where ever I go there fight...
like roses thorn... beauty yet deceiving...."
Sunday, February 28, 2010
past, present and future....
again during my cousin wedding was invited to sing...
I sang "shania twain - from this moment on"...
the bride, my cousin sister in law burst into tears :)
I never thought the song I pick would deeply touches her...
(grandpa I kinda think about what u say... "we are what out mind think we are")
I wanted to be a singer.. hahaha...
now I sang in small stage with my bro Abang Man,
who just become a father,
he adopted a son, all I can say is syukur al-hamdullilah
we are not earning much...
but most important of all is we enjoy ourself and the crow love it :)
thank God for lighting up this person in my life, Amen...
I founded love in educating...
who ever I educate...it doesn't matter...
sharing...
grandpa I'm kinda sad that there are dispute in our family lately...
power.... status.... property....
it make human ego... "angkuh!"
I told them 1 thing u thought me...
when I die... all those are useless in the graveyard.....
and dun't look down on me....
I'm not a lawyer....doctor... engineer... or acountant...manager or wtf...
but i know 1 thing.....
I teach the future engineer... doctor.... accountant... manager.... lawyer....
without a teacher... they wouldn't exist....
1 more thing ;p I really envy them grandpa... they have started a family...
I'm just a best man and wedding singer...
hahaha... sometimes it does killing softly :p
I sang "shania twain - from this moment on"...
the bride, my cousin sister in law burst into tears :)
I never thought the song I pick would deeply touches her...
(grandpa I kinda think about what u say... "we are what out mind think we are")
I wanted to be a singer.. hahaha...
now I sang in small stage with my bro Abang Man,
who just become a father,
he adopted a son, all I can say is syukur al-hamdullilah
we are not earning much...
but most important of all is we enjoy ourself and the crow love it :)
thank God for lighting up this person in my life, Amen...
I founded love in educating...
who ever I educate...it doesn't matter...
sharing...
grandpa I'm kinda sad that there are dispute in our family lately...
power.... status.... property....
it make human ego... "angkuh!"
I told them 1 thing u thought me...
when I die... all those are useless in the graveyard.....
and dun't look down on me....
I'm not a lawyer....doctor... engineer... or acountant...manager or wtf...
but i know 1 thing.....
I teach the future engineer... doctor.... accountant... manager.... lawyer....
without a teacher... they wouldn't exist....
1 more thing ;p I really envy them grandpa... they have started a family...
I'm just a best man and wedding singer...
hahaha... sometimes it does killing softly :p
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Beauty of a smile...
Love is not love...
thy fold my heart in the depth of blue sea...
written the courage of a worrier in thy words...
O, no! is it impermanent the thought we once share...
The bloody mascaraed took it away and away...
thou smile still clear in my mind..
the beautiful rainbow curve from the edge...
the land fills with green and blue ocean seas...
but, where am I to be?
selfless me...
wanted to see...
the beauty of a smile...
thy fold my heart in the depth of blue sea...
written the courage of a worrier in thy words...
O, no! is it impermanent the thought we once share...
The bloody mascaraed took it away and away...
thou smile still clear in my mind..
the beautiful rainbow curve from the edge...
the land fills with green and blue ocean seas...
but, where am I to be?
selfless me...
wanted to see...
the beauty of a smile...
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
晴天?? 雨天??
还要多久
我才能在你身边
等到放晴的那天
也许我会比较好一点?
从前从前
有个人爱你很久
但偏偏风渐渐
把距离吹得好远
好不容易
又能再多爱一天
但故事的最后
你好像还是说了拜拜....
我才能在你身边
等到放晴的那天
也许我会比较好一点?
从前从前
有个人爱你很久
但偏偏风渐渐
把距离吹得好远
好不容易
又能再多爱一天
但故事的最后
你好像还是说了拜拜....
How long do I still have?
Don't tell me how long do I still have....
Tell me life is short, go and start living it...
Don't tell me how long do I still have...
Tell me every second of my life is worth living...
Don't tell me how long do I still have...
Tell me there are more unfortunate people out there...
Don't tell me how long do I still have...
Tell me every second of my love worth more that a thousand gold...
Don't tell me how long do I still have...
Tell me have what I have....
Tell me life is short, go and start living it...
Don't tell me how long do I still have...
Tell me every second of my life is worth living...
Don't tell me how long do I still have...
Tell me there are more unfortunate people out there...
Don't tell me how long do I still have...
Tell me every second of my love worth more that a thousand gold...
Don't tell me how long do I still have...
Tell me have what I have....
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Change
Instead of blaming it unfair...
Be thankful of what I've got....
Instead of worrying about the future...
Start living my life now...
Instead of judging people i don't know...
Get to know them better...
Instead of being pissed off at every thing....
Learn to appreciate the beauty of this world...
Be thankful of what I've got....
Instead of worrying about the future...
Start living my life now...
Instead of judging people i don't know...
Get to know them better...
Instead of being pissed off at every thing....
Learn to appreciate the beauty of this world...
Friday, February 19, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
And so they ask...
DO he still love her?
He reply...
He does...
Even there may be a lot of things he never agrees with her...
but still...
to him, loving her is the best thing ever happen in his life...
They ask him why...
he said love got no reason...
love got no rhythm...
it just grows in times...
He reply...
He does...
Even there may be a lot of things he never agrees with her...
but still...
to him, loving her is the best thing ever happen in his life...
They ask him why...
he said love got no reason...
love got no rhythm...
it just grows in times...
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The Untitled...
Turn back the pendulum...
We human alway feel regret at the end of our life...
We feel sorry for thing we didn't do...
Honestly, I never...
because suddenly at these point of my life...
I realize that there are lot more things to do...
as human I can never finish doing what ever I wanna do...
so, doing what I'm doing now is the best things ever to be done...
live life with no regret...
even if I may never see tomorrow...
I'm satisfy with the 道 that I pass through...
I happy to touch people life...
I'm happy to meet with the children...
I'm happy to serve the orphan...
I'm happy to be inservice of the old folk...
I'm happy that my parent love me...
I may have face some obstacle along the way...
well it's a spice of life...
without it the are no life...
Well religion wise... I'm a Buddhist...
but I always question why do we always have to pray?
do we really need to pray to You dear God?
and I always believe that the world one day can be united in one...
where religion doesn't exist.....
every human being are united as one...
Loving and caring....
no more wars....
no more discrimination....
We human alway feel regret at the end of our life...
We feel sorry for thing we didn't do...
Honestly, I never...
because suddenly at these point of my life...
I realize that there are lot more things to do...
as human I can never finish doing what ever I wanna do...
so, doing what I'm doing now is the best things ever to be done...
live life with no regret...
even if I may never see tomorrow...
I'm satisfy with the 道 that I pass through...
I happy to touch people life...
I'm happy to meet with the children...
I'm happy to serve the orphan...
I'm happy to be inservice of the old folk...
I'm happy that my parent love me...
I may have face some obstacle along the way...
well it's a spice of life...
without it the are no life...
Well religion wise... I'm a Buddhist...
but I always question why do we always have to pray?
do we really need to pray to You dear God?
and I always believe that the world one day can be united in one...
where religion doesn't exist.....
every human being are united as one...
Loving and caring....
no more wars....
no more discrimination....
Monday, February 8, 2010
Faith and Believe
Well just watch Legion...
Make me wonder...
God, why do u have to go through all the trouble to create us and than destroy us??
Well is not that I'm trying to define You...
I just hate the existence of religion...
I don't pray 5 times a day...
I don't go to churches every saturday or sunday...
I don't go to the monastery to "sei~bat" every week end...
speaking in vulgar words all the times...
Does that make me go to HELL??
Or categories me as bad??
I'm doing my best to...
bring up children to be humane...
so that they respect and give love to Your creations...
I'm doing my best to....
Make the old folk happy...
so that they felt the love in this world which You created...
I'm going all out to...
make my parent happy...
and proud of this black sheep...
I'm sad and angry see thing around me evolve...
Separation of people because of their believe and religion....
discrimination of people because of their skins and gander...
all wars of the world started from religion...
Between the Christians and the Muslims..."The Crusade"
Buddhist and the Muslims...."Asoka Wars"
Jewish with the muslims...
The pagan and the religious...
Even among brothers they fight...
what's going on?
life goes on....
I guess...
Make me wonder...
God, why do u have to go through all the trouble to create us and than destroy us??
Well is not that I'm trying to define You...
I just hate the existence of religion...
I don't pray 5 times a day...
I don't go to churches every saturday or sunday...
I don't go to the monastery to "sei~bat" every week end...
speaking in vulgar words all the times...
Does that make me go to HELL??
Or categories me as bad??
I'm doing my best to...
bring up children to be humane...
so that they respect and give love to Your creations...
I'm doing my best to....
Make the old folk happy...
so that they felt the love in this world which You created...
I'm going all out to...
make my parent happy...
and proud of this black sheep...
I'm sad and angry see thing around me evolve...
Separation of people because of their believe and religion....
discrimination of people because of their skins and gander...
all wars of the world started from religion...
Between the Christians and the Muslims..."The Crusade"
Buddhist and the Muslims...."Asoka Wars"
Jewish with the muslims...
The pagan and the religious...
Even among brothers they fight...
what's going on?
life goes on....
I guess...
Velocity
It is best when I only need to fall in love for once...
Because if I experienced too much...
I may feel numb about it....
The more I undergo break-ups...
I will be getting used to it....
and if I'm changing my lover too often...
I will start to compare them...
Is it??
I don't have the answer....
==== ===== ==== ==== ========
Said also don't listen...
listen also don't understand...
not understand also don't ask...
ask also don't do...
do also do wrong...
wrong also don't admit...
admit also don't correct...
correct also not happy...
not happy also don't say....
said will you listen???
Because if I experienced too much...
I may feel numb about it....
The more I undergo break-ups...
I will be getting used to it....
and if I'm changing my lover too often...
I will start to compare them...
Is it??
I don't have the answer....
==== ===== ==== ==== ========
Said also don't listen...
listen also don't understand...
not understand also don't ask...
ask also don't do...
do also do wrong...
wrong also don't admit...
admit also don't correct...
correct also not happy...
not happy also don't say....
said will you listen???
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Dearest Friend...
It had been awhile since I talked to you...
I'm still angry at you...
angry for putting our "friendship" in line just to advice me....
I've told you that I'll always listen to feedback...
but at least let me cool down a bit...
May be the pain on my head causes me to get even angrier at you...
When I'm angry at some one...
I'll do my best to stay away from him/her in any form...
If possible I do not wish to have any thing to do with him/her...
As if they never existed...
But I can't...
I can't...
Deep in me this whole week I feel so shallow...
keeping my distance away from you...
Ignoring any form of communication...
eye contact and such...
but yet... you... on the other hand still approach me....
seek me for help...
I just can't ignore...
There's a lot to say.... but I just kept it...
I kinda miss the first conversation we had the first time we meet...
I like it not because we donno each other...
I like it because we are sincere...
we wanna know each other more....
but as time goes...
we change...
I change....
I guess I'm always lose to my feelings...
I'm always a fool....
heh... a fool indeed... haiz...
*at least thinking of you make the pain go away for a while
I'm still angry at you...
angry for putting our "friendship" in line just to advice me....
I've told you that I'll always listen to feedback...
but at least let me cool down a bit...
May be the pain on my head causes me to get even angrier at you...
When I'm angry at some one...
I'll do my best to stay away from him/her in any form...
If possible I do not wish to have any thing to do with him/her...
As if they never existed...
But I can't...
I can't...
Deep in me this whole week I feel so shallow...
keeping my distance away from you...
Ignoring any form of communication...
eye contact and such...
but yet... you... on the other hand still approach me....
seek me for help...
I just can't ignore...
There's a lot to say.... but I just kept it...
I kinda miss the first conversation we had the first time we meet...
I like it not because we donno each other...
I like it because we are sincere...
we wanna know each other more....
but as time goes...
we change...
I change....
I guess I'm always lose to my feelings...
I'm always a fool....
heh... a fool indeed... haiz...
*at least thinking of you make the pain go away for a while
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Living me.... abandoned love....
Another day of pain...
Losing my insanity...
Are You trying to take me away?
Why not just rip the soul out?
Are You trying to tell me something?
Honestly.... I'm in real pain...
pain in every single sel in my body...
pain in my feeling...
the feeling of being left...
the feeling of being rejected just because I'm Fat.....
what the heck...
I though love don't come in physical...
I guest I'm naive...
I'm alone in loving... loving my own self...
where the angel when I need them...
I was left...
again.....
Losing my insanity...
Are You trying to take me away?
Why not just rip the soul out?
Are You trying to tell me something?
Honestly.... I'm in real pain...
pain in every single sel in my body...
pain in my feeling...
the feeling of being left...
the feeling of being rejected just because I'm Fat.....
what the heck...
I though love don't come in physical...
I guest I'm naive...
I'm alone in loving... loving my own self...
where the angel when I need them...
I was left...
again.....
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Solitude
Isolation...
Isolated myself from the feeling...
yet in guilt...
trying to suppress the rebellion within...
within me...
tempted to unleash...
yet afraid of the broken soul...
of the ugly but nice to see...
melody of soul...
a story never told...
Isolated myself from the feeling...
yet in guilt...
trying to suppress the rebellion within...
within me...
tempted to unleash...
yet afraid of the broken soul...
of the ugly but nice to see...
melody of soul...
a story never told...
Monday, February 1, 2010
It ends tonite...
Your subtleties...
They strangle me...
I can't explain myself at all...
And all the wants and all the needs...
All I don't want to need at all...
The walls start breathing...
my mind's unweaving...
Maybe it's best you leave me alone...
A weight is lifted on this evening...
I give the final blow...
A falling star...
at least I fall alone...
I can't explain what you can explain...
You're finding things that you didn't know...
I look at you with such disdain...
It's my fault when you're blind...
It's better that I see it through your eyes...
All these thoughts locked inside...
Now you're the first to know...
Now I'm on my own side...
It's better than being on your side...
Just a little insight won't make this right...
It's too late to fight...
it ends tonight...
When darkness turns to light...
It ends tonight...
I really hope it won't ends tonight...
They strangle me...
I can't explain myself at all...
And all the wants and all the needs...
All I don't want to need at all...
The walls start breathing...
my mind's unweaving...
Maybe it's best you leave me alone...
A weight is lifted on this evening...
I give the final blow...
A falling star...
at least I fall alone...
I can't explain what you can explain...
You're finding things that you didn't know...
I look at you with such disdain...
It's my fault when you're blind...
It's better that I see it through your eyes...
All these thoughts locked inside...
Now you're the first to know...
Now I'm on my own side...
It's better than being on your side...
Just a little insight won't make this right...
It's too late to fight...
it ends tonight...
When darkness turns to light...
It ends tonight...
I really hope it won't ends tonight...
Sunday, January 31, 2010
A pening lalat day...
Some time I juz dunno I'm stupid or what...
Being nice but not appreciated...
still... die die oso nice....
but in the end it just break me apart...
haiz.. God... God...
Am I stupid?
I really hope I'm not that stupid...
Haiz.. wadever lah...juz continue living this live...
but really dunno how to face tomorrow...
but if tomorrow never come boring pulak...
pening me... haiz....
Being nice but not appreciated...
still... die die oso nice....
but in the end it just break me apart...
haiz.. God... God...
Am I stupid?
I really hope I'm not that stupid...
Haiz.. wadever lah...juz continue living this live...
but really dunno how to face tomorrow...
but if tomorrow never come boring pulak...
pening me... haiz....
Friday, January 29, 2010
Can I just be the villain instead of the the good guy?
Can I just kill all the living soul?
CAn I just hurt all the human feelings...
CAn I just let hearted runs through me in stead of love...
Love is not productive at all... it suffocate me...
but yet I can't hate...
the i only time I stop loving ... is when I'm dead...why la u give me this feeling God...
It eat me up in side...
u let me meet with 5 wonderful girls just to end up with some one else...
did I treat them bad?
I know I'm abit naughty some time but I never never I betray the love...
and yet...some one take them away from me...
and tore my heart.... eaten up my soul...
it is veery painful...indeed it is....
I tried to reset and rewrite....
yet they are still in my mind that is how deep my love is for them....
how long will my journey of suffering shall continue...
I love You... I love my parent... I love the blood... I love Your creation...
Never once I doubt the greatness... so may there be many believe on You...
I dun belief in the religions christian islam ect.... because they create rules... and doctrine....
rule and doctrine are man made...
I believe in only You...
I belief in unity...
I belief in love...
I belief in sincerity...
I belief in loyalty...
I belief in modesty and honesty....
still human can;t live without rule... because the are good in broken it....
if You have the strength spare me to do the least that I can....
or at least... let love fills the world....
CAn I just hurt all the human feelings...
CAn I just let hearted runs through me in stead of love...
Love is not productive at all... it suffocate me...
but yet I can't hate...
the i only time I stop loving ... is when I'm dead...why la u give me this feeling God...
It eat me up in side...
u let me meet with 5 wonderful girls just to end up with some one else...
did I treat them bad?
I know I'm abit naughty some time but I never never I betray the love...
and yet...some one take them away from me...
and tore my heart.... eaten up my soul...
it is veery painful...indeed it is....
I tried to reset and rewrite....
yet they are still in my mind that is how deep my love is for them....
how long will my journey of suffering shall continue...
I love You... I love my parent... I love the blood... I love Your creation...
Never once I doubt the greatness... so may there be many believe on You...
I dun belief in the religions christian islam ect.... because they create rules... and doctrine....
rule and doctrine are man made...
I believe in only You...
I belief in unity...
I belief in love...
I belief in sincerity...
I belief in loyalty...
I belief in modesty and honesty....
still human can;t live without rule... because the are good in broken it....
if You have the strength spare me to do the least that I can....
or at least... let love fills the world....
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Pain in my head...
Trust the doctor??
Sometime the doctor trust the God even more then themselves..
would you go to that doctor??
Sometime the doctor trust the God even more then themselves..
would you go to that doctor??
birth and death
A life is born...
and others are taken...
who shall know when and where?
who knows who will come...
and who will go...
as life flow...
ends is always a pain to the livings...
birth is always a tear for the comers...
it's weird why we are still living in the living...
and wish not departed from this world....
the believe on heaven and hell...
are they really there... then where is it??
suspicious soul searching for answer...
seeking God existence by calling his name...
go to His house for some answer...
but found nothing in despair...
clueless belief...
what the book sez... they follow...
where the truth???
If I'm not praying to You will You send me to hell...
even I have suffocated in this world to ease others' pain...
orphans ... old folks....
even in those who pray to You but their life full of tragedy...
will You still bring them up to heaven???
and others are taken...
who shall know when and where?
who knows who will come...
and who will go...
as life flow...
ends is always a pain to the livings...
birth is always a tear for the comers...
it's weird why we are still living in the living...
and wish not departed from this world....
the believe on heaven and hell...
are they really there... then where is it??
suspicious soul searching for answer...
seeking God existence by calling his name...
go to His house for some answer...
but found nothing in despair...
clueless belief...
what the book sez... they follow...
where the truth???
If I'm not praying to You will You send me to hell...
even I have suffocated in this world to ease others' pain...
orphans ... old folks....
even in those who pray to You but their life full of tragedy...
will You still bring them up to heaven???
Sunday, January 24, 2010
It's getting far away...
I'm doing my best to keep it intact...
I'm doing what ever I can to safe it from wreckage...
I'm dun wan to se it burn down to ashes...
I wanna see it to gather again...
so close...
together.....
I'm doing what ever I can to safe it from wreckage...
I'm dun wan to se it burn down to ashes...
I wanna see it to gather again...
so close...
together.....
Friday, January 22, 2010
What in my life that is not working?
1) how I handle my personal feelings.
2) how I manage my financial issue.
3) how I take care of my health. (sometimes over work! too many excuses)
4) how I handle my sadness.
How to make it work!
1) Realize that I'm not a perfect human being.
2) acceptance of what's going on.
3) Life is short... be do have...
2) how I manage my financial issue.
3) how I take care of my health. (sometimes over work! too many excuses)
4) how I handle my sadness.
How to make it work!
1) Realize that I'm not a perfect human being.
2) acceptance of what's going on.
3) Life is short... be do have...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
why put me in this situation?
It's kinda weird... Why do I always fall in love with some one who do not like me... In fact, Those that I never fall for, tells me that they like me... I don't wan to hurt them... neither do those who I fall for... they don't wan to hurt me... I just don't understand why? I'm jealous... I'm confuse... God, I'm doing my best to be a friend... I'm a weak human being... very very weak... I'm depress... Been surrender so many times... I'm angry... why do I have to solve so many problems... I'm in love... but no one would ever heard the cries of loneliness.... I'm really sick and tired of this feeling... but I keep on leaving... it is painful to fall in love... rather then spreading love... I love you... I really do... any way thnk you God... I have a great family... U make every one my friends.... I really hope u could show me the light to my lover... I really do right now...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Sloppy and snobby....
Lame.. I guess it's over...
It's obvious the it never happen...
But so many hope and dream are put in...
so many time heart and faith are broken...
so many lies are spoken...
But no truth in the words I could find...
No faithfulness in man all there is is crime...
Monday, January 18, 2010
Departed
Dear Kak Zaira,
The hardest part of any friendship is when it's time to say goodbye...
As much as we might like things to stay the same...
change is an inevitable part of life....
The universe may seem huge...
and the rift between friends on opposite side of the world may seem a great distance...
There are many tools available with which we can communicate ( contohnya fb (>.^) )...
but even without these tools there is a secret that only real friends know, and it is this....
All the mountains and valleys in the world cannot separate friends whose hearts are as one...
Regards
-Kai-
The hardest part of any friendship is when it's time to say goodbye...
As much as we might like things to stay the same...
change is an inevitable part of life....
The universe may seem huge...
and the rift between friends on opposite side of the world may seem a great distance...
There are many tools available with which we can communicate ( contohnya fb (>.^) )...
but even without these tools there is a secret that only real friends know, and it is this....
All the mountains and valleys in the world cannot separate friends whose hearts are as one...
Regards
-Kai-
Sunday, January 17, 2010
To Forget What I love
To forget what I love is difficult...
Because I will never choose to forget it...
I will keep it as a memory...
And set the burden free...
I might not being love by others...
But I still choose to love others...
Because I believe the world need it's balance..
so am I....
It my belief wrong??
No I don't think so...
Are there such thing as right or wrong....
what is fair.....
what is discrimination...
what is virginity...
what is honor...
what is good what is not??
in the end we are all different...
I can't ask you to follow me...
You can't force me to do thing you wanted me to do...
I have no right to say what you belief is wrong....
"UGLY BUT NICE TO SEE"
Love begins with a smile,
Grows with a kiss,
Ends with a tear.
When you were born,
You were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so that when you die,
You’re the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.
==================================
If I just worry about the big picture,I'll feel powerless...
Start right away doing whatever little I can do.
To give joy to one person in the morning,
and remove the suffering of one person in the afternoon...
my way of life....
New Divine
I guess it is over...
For the world to roll over...
I got to stop...
may be the time is not it...
may be the tide is waving it...
may be "it" not there..
I just can stop and stare...
Got to stop thinking about it...
I hate people pretending to care about it...
ok fine...
I'll stop...
good bye miseries...
welcome mysteries...
set me free...
from my own clinch...
I forgive...
I'll never regret...
it's your choice... it's my life...
Give me new divine.....
For the world to roll over...
I got to stop...
may be the time is not it...
may be the tide is waving it...
may be "it" not there..
I just can stop and stare...
Got to stop thinking about it...
I hate people pretending to care about it...
ok fine...
I'll stop...
good bye miseries...
welcome mysteries...
set me free...
from my own clinch...
I forgive...
I'll never regret...
it's your choice... it's my life...
Give me new divine.....
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Rewinds...
My dad never tells me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it....
My mom never treated me as an adult, to her I'm always her baby boy...
I've hurt them a lot when I was young...
They say "If we never get hurt... you will never grow...."
They love for no reason...
They scold for every reason...
My mom never treated me as an adult, to her I'm always her baby boy...
I've hurt them a lot when I was young...
They say "If we never get hurt... you will never grow...."
They love for no reason...
They scold for every reason...
Thursday, January 14, 2010
荽萋
I don't know where you are...
But I know it's really far...
Because you are doing your best to avoid me...
I know how it feels...
Coz I'm avoiding some one else in my life to for the past few day...
trust me it's not pleasant...
I'm just creating more pain... within...
But I can't run away or avoiding any more...
may be she don't like me...
may be I'm not the person she wanna be with..
or may be it is just my luck being dump by girls...
hahaha... 4 times and counting...
my love life is weird...
I can't seems to be with any one... include you...
you left without reason...
that's which worries me...
I call... no answer...I meet ur parent... they say nothing... and chase me away...
I feel like a stray dong looking and bagging for love...
Does my face really make people hates me...
hahahha...
wat ever it is...
I'm really suck in relationship...
sometime the girl i love crack jokes that really hurts me...
it's a joke... but still... it hurts....
may be she is sending out a signal sez...
"hey buzz off fat ass!!!"
in a polite way...
Dear God if u are up there.. where on earth did I done wrong to the human beings??
I never hurts any one....
okay I know when I was you I'm the pain in the ass for my parent....
but...
I never hurt any one especially a girls heart... it this karma from my past life??
or izzit a redemption that I should made for hurting my parent heart when I was young....
nandayo~ (|||=.=)
a new hope.....
But I know it's really far...
Because you are doing your best to avoid me...
I know how it feels...
Coz I'm avoiding some one else in my life to for the past few day...
trust me it's not pleasant...
I'm just creating more pain... within...
But I can't run away or avoiding any more...
may be she don't like me...
may be I'm not the person she wanna be with..
or may be it is just my luck being dump by girls...
hahaha... 4 times and counting...
my love life is weird...
I can't seems to be with any one... include you...
you left without reason...
that's which worries me...
I call... no answer...I meet ur parent... they say nothing... and chase me away...
I feel like a stray dong looking and bagging for love...
Does my face really make people hates me...
hahahha...
wat ever it is...
I'm really suck in relationship...
sometime the girl i love crack jokes that really hurts me...
it's a joke... but still... it hurts....
may be she is sending out a signal sez...
"hey buzz off fat ass!!!"
in a polite way...
Dear God if u are up there.. where on earth did I done wrong to the human beings??
I never hurts any one....
okay I know when I was you I'm the pain in the ass for my parent....
but...
I never hurt any one especially a girls heart... it this karma from my past life??
or izzit a redemption that I should made for hurting my parent heart when I was young....
nandayo~ (|||=.=)
a new hope.....
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