past, present and future....

again during my cousin wedding was invited to sing...
I sang "shania twain - from this moment on"...
the bride, my cousin sister in law burst into tears :)
I never thought the song I pick would deeply touches her...

(grandpa I kinda think about what u say... "we are what out mind think we are")

I wanted to be a singer.. hahaha...
now I sang in small stage with my bro Abang Man,
who just become a father,
he adopted a son, all I can say is syukur al-hamdullilah
we are not earning much...
but most important of all is we enjoy ourself and the crow love it :)
thank God for lighting up this person in my life, Amen...

I founded love in educating...
who ever I educate...it doesn't matter...
sharing...

grandpa I'm kinda sad that there are dispute in our family lately...
power.... status.... property....
it make human ego... "angkuh!"
I told them 1 thing u thought me...
when I die... all those are useless in the graveyard.....
and dun't look down on me....
I'm not a lawyer....doctor... engineer... or acountant...manager or wtf...
but i know 1 thing.....
I teach the future engineer... doctor.... accountant... manager.... lawyer....
without a teacher... they wouldn't exist....

1 more thing ;p I really envy them grandpa... they have started a family...
I'm just a best man and wedding singer...
hahaha... sometimes it does killing softly :p

Beauty of a smile...

Love is not love...
thy fold my heart in the depth of blue sea...
written the courage of a worrier in thy words...

O, no! is it impermanent the thought we once share...
The bloody mascaraed took it away and away...
thou smile still clear in my mind..

the beautiful rainbow curve from the edge...
the land fills with green and blue ocean seas...
but, where am I to be?

selfless me...
wanted to see...
the beauty of a smile...

晴天?? 雨天??

还要多久
我才能在你身边
等到放晴的那天
也许我会比较好一点?

从前从前
有个人爱你很久
但偏偏风渐渐
把距离吹得好远
好不容易
又能再多爱一天
但故事的最后
你好像还是说了拜拜....

How long do I still have?

Don't tell me how long do I still have....
Tell me life is short, go and start living it...

Don't tell me how long do I still have...
Tell me every second of my life is worth living...

Don't tell me how long do I still have...
Tell me there are more unfortunate people out there...

Don't tell me how long do I still have...
Tell me every second of my love worth more that a thousand gold...

Don't tell me how long do I still have...
Tell me have what I have....

Change

Instead of blaming it unfair...
Be thankful of what I've got....

Instead of worrying about the future...
Start living my life now...

Instead of judging people i don't know...
Get to know them better...

Instead of being pissed off at every thing....
Learn to appreciate the beauty of this world...

MRI

JUst finish my MRI scan yesterday...
anxiously...
I'm waiting...
what would come next....
life....

Baga!

我只是一个小人物

我什么都没有
我只有一点吵
如果你感到寂寞
我带给你热闹
其实我很烦恼
只是你看不到
如果我也不开心
怕你转身就逃
爱上一个人
一定要让她相信！
这世界多么美好！
对每个人都说还好，
我的心、我的情，
你不需要明了，
只要我对你好，
这样的温柔你要不要？

And so they ask...

DO he still love her?
He reply...
He does...
Even there may be a lot of things he never agrees with her...
but still...
to him, loving her is the best thing ever happen in his life...
They ask him why...
he said love got no reason...
love got no rhythm...
it just grows in times...

The Untitled...

Turn back the pendulum...
We human alway feel regret at the end of our life...
We feel sorry for thing we didn't do...

Honestly, I never...
because suddenly at these point of my life...
I realize that there are lot more things to do...
as human I can never finish doing what ever I wanna do...
so, doing what I'm doing now is the best things ever to be done...

live life with no regret...
even if I may never see tomorrow...
I'm satisfy with the 道 that I pass through...
I happy to touch people life...
I'm happy to meet with the children...
I'm happy to serve the orphan...
I'm happy to be inservice of the old folk...
I'm happy that my parent love me...

I may have face some obstacle along the way...
well it's a spice of life...
without it the are no life...

Well religion wise... I'm a Buddhist...
but I always question why do we always have to pray?
do we really need to pray to You dear God?
and I always believe that the world one day can be united in one...
where religion doesn't exist.....
every human being are united as one...
Loving and caring....
no more wars....
no more discrimination....

Faith and Believe

Well just watch Legion...
Make me wonder...
God, why do u have to go through all the trouble to create us and than destroy us??

Well is not that I'm trying to define You...
I just hate the existence of religion...
I don't pray 5 times a day...
I don't go to churches every saturday or sunday...
I don't go to the monastery to "sei~bat" every week end...
speaking in vulgar words all the times...
Does that make me go to HELL??
Or categories me as bad??

I'm doing my best to...
bring up children to be humane...
so that they respect and give love to Your creations...

I'm doing my best to....
Make the old folk happy...
so that they felt the love in this world which You created...

I'm going all out to...
make my parent happy...
and proud of this black sheep...

I'm sad and angry see thing around me evolve...
Separation of people because of their believe and religion....
discrimination of people because of their skins and gander...

all wars of the world started from religion...
Between the Christians and the Muslims..."The Crusade"
Buddhist and the Muslims...."Asoka Wars"
Jewish with the muslims...
The pagan and the religious...
Even among brothers they fight...

what's going on?

life goes on....

I guess...

Velocity

It is best when I only need to fall in love for once...
Because if I experienced too much...
I may feel numb about it....

The more I undergo break-ups...
I will be getting used to it....

and if I'm changing my lover too often...
I will start to compare them...

Is it??

I don't have the answer....

==== ===== ==== ==== ========

Said also don't listen...
listen also don't understand...
not understand also don't ask...
ask also don't do...
do also do wrong...
wrong also don't admit...
admit also don't correct...
correct also not happy...
not happy also don't say....

said will you listen???

Yo~
Life is short...
They say it takes
a minutes to find a special person...
an hour to appreciate them...
a day to love them...
but then an entire life to forget them...

Well Ipoh and Pinang day trip is totally awesome....

Thankz guyz....

Dearest Friend...

It had been awhile since I talked to you...
I'm still angry at you...
angry for putting our "friendship" in line just to advice me....
I've told you that I'll always listen to feedback...
but at least let me cool down a bit...

May be the pain on my head causes me to get even angrier at you...
When I'm angry at some one...
I'll do my best to stay away from him/her in any form...
If possible I do not wish to have any thing to do with him/her...
As if they never existed...

But I can't...

I can't...

Deep in me this whole week I feel so shallow...
keeping my distance away from you...
Ignoring any form of communication...
eye contact and such...

but yet... you... on the other hand still approach me....
seek me for help...
I just can't ignore...
There's a lot to say.... but I just kept it...

I kinda miss the first conversation we had the first time we meet...
I like it not because we donno each other...
I like it because we are sincere...
we wanna know each other more....

but as time goes...

we change...

I change....

I guess I'm always lose to my feelings...

I'm always a fool....

heh... a fool indeed... haiz...

*at least thinking of you make the pain go away for a while

Living me.... abandoned love....

Another day of pain...
Losing my insanity...
Are You trying to take me away?

Why not just rip the soul out?
Are You trying to tell me something?
Honestly.... I'm in real pain...
pain in every single sel in my body...
pain in my feeling...
the feeling of being left...
the feeling of being rejected just because I'm Fat.....

what the heck...
I though love don't come in physical...
I guest I'm naive...

I'm alone in loving... loving my own self...
where the angel when I need them...

I was left...

again.....

Tomorrow's sorrow

Tomorrow will be the 1st day without FB..

Solitude

Isolation...
Isolated myself from the feeling...
yet in guilt...
trying to suppress the rebellion within...
within me...

tempted to unleash...
yet afraid of the broken soul...
of the ugly but nice to see...
melody of soul...
a story never told...

It ends tonite...

Your subtleties...
They strangle me...
I can't explain myself at all...
And all the wants and all the needs...
All I don't want to need at all...

The walls start breathing...
my mind's unweaving...
Maybe it's best you leave me alone...
A weight is lifted on this evening...
I give the final blow...

A falling star...
at least I fall alone...
I can't explain what you can explain...
You're finding things that you didn't know...
I look at you with such disdain...

It's my fault when you're blind...
It's better that I see it through your eyes...
All these thoughts locked inside...
Now you're the first to know...

Now I'm on my own side...
It's better than being on your side...

Just a little insight won't make this right...
It's too late to fight...
it ends tonight...

When darkness turns to light...
It ends tonight...

I really hope it won't ends tonight...