Bridge to Somewhere Lost in time....

There a moment in time...
That's can't be define...
Which is there to remind...
All my sins and my crime....

It send me away in the month of may...
It wakes me up when september end...

I guess it a nature that life have it balance...
good versus evil...
at time i think I'm evil...
which i have the tendency to become...

but I was always be reminded...

I could be the darkest evil and hurt people to their deepest miseries...
I could heal people, love others and help others to their happiest joy...

I could...

Wonder

Isn't it a wonder when u heard a baby cry....
Isn't it a wonder when u see a mother smile....
This world is a beautiful place...

I took picture of happiness...
But never replace the tear of sadness...
I stood up when I fell...

I love without reason...
I never choose, never procrastinate, never discriminate...
May u be fat, short, ugly...
love is a gift...

Life is not for us to judge it's bad or worse...
Life is for us to enjoy...
Life is a privilege...

Towards the end of these year...these are the few area of my life which is appeal most.. I fell for someone just to end up as a friend... I fight with a stranger but end up to become friend... I was hated but end up to be the care taker... life is so wonderful...

I may not get what I wan - but I will still work for it... I may not have any lover - may be faith is not on my side... I do not achieve my goal (carrier)- but i found something better and worth dying for...

To some look and appearance may seems to be everything... but I have seen what look have done to hurt other... I have friends lost their virginity in young age just because of look... i have a handsome friend who slept with various girl just to end up getting few of the girls he slept with pregnant... (well face like me can become a model too ;P see me in men's health magazine soon....hahahaha.....)

Skills is essential in life... I like photography so much... finally I took the challenge to become a part time apprentice photographer of 1 of Asia most famous modeling magazine... hahahha...damn I can believe it the they really took up a part time apprentice..... talent are too much to be wasted...

I quit my free lance job as web design... I need more to life... :)...

This few day meet up some beautiful people.... friends id friends.... it's wonderful...

My life is full...

Grandpa... 2009 will end soon... me still fat... single... and love milo... hahaha...

No Silent night this year...

Today is my cousin wedding....
yesterday was her wedding dinner...
Finally I can show my cooking talent to all my aunt!!! hahahaha...
All these while I'm known as the pain in the ass...
Every one like my MILO PUDDING muahahahahha...
My

and for the finally my special Blue Soda Lemonade Punch With lil Vodka...
I name it "Aquamarine-Pop" ....

we were cooking and serving till 1am in the morning...
suddenly remember someone... my late grandfather...
hope he was here.... to see the 1st granddaughter to get married...

Today X'mas...and my cousins wedding...man so tired...

I got 1 Xmas present this year from Shereen thankz... hahaha...


my whole life I rarely recieve any present from friends or relatives....
thats' y the present the give are very very precious to me....
I'll used it even if it's obsolete.... hahahha.....

reminisce 怀念

I reminisce the smile on your face...
I reminisce the sound of your laugh...
sometimes you I might call you attention freak...
yet you are special in your own way...
I may be a freak myself....

I reminisce the hype or you appearance...
I reminisce the aura when you are near me...
sometimes I feel jealous on how u treated others....
yet I still love you for who u are...
I may be a casanova myself....

reminisce....

The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken

Poet: Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

I miss some one....

There nothing else I can say...
When you look at me that way...

hahahaha...

the lyric above reminds me of some one...
thou it's far away...
I promise I'll be here to stay...
What ever I promised I'll keep it...
It's is what make me human....
I hope it will clear the mind of the beholder too...
I wish only for the best...

Her Tear Drops...

I saw the tear drop from the eye...
my heart was cold my and it clouded my mind...
I feel stupid and acting like an idiot...
I just don't know how to hold her...
Sometimes I could be a real good idiot...
But most of the time I'm a total completely absolutely brilliant idiotic moron...
hahahaha...
Next time... it's gonna be different...

Pain in Vein...

It another sleepless night again tonight...
I need rest...
Tomorrow nee to take care of 30 people...
Gosh....
Please sleep Kai!!!!!!!!

Nightmare

I can't sleep last night...
In my brain it keep on fleshing painful event...
The Dreams portrayed...
dishonesty... betrayal... hatred... violence...
People around me suffering...
the one I care...
the one I love...
It's a damnation...
evil rules...
and dark side prevail...

GPa now I understand why I choose to stay on the side I'm now...
I promise I'll never ever even think about being unreasonably violence...

Paranormal...

GPa... The pain return...
I thought "IT" will never come to me again...
why?

Dear lord...
Why was I given this "gift"...
I feel terrible when I warn people...
They think I'm crazy...

GPa... "IT" was following a girl I love and care for...
yesterday afternoon after the beach activity...
Although I can't see "IT"...
but the feeling of "IT" present is strong...

GPa I was so worried about her...
so I did the "Puuja"...
Feeding it with smoke...
instead of using joss-stick...
I used cigarette....
And it stick to me...
"IT" keep on carving for smoke...
so I took almost half of a pack last night...

This morning...
"IT" lingering around my thought and body...
I feel so gloomy...
and I hate the cigarette scent on my body...
"IT" drained all my energy out...
feel like a walking corpse...
a zombie..

Ckg Putera used the "Raja Kayu" to cast "IT" away...
but "IT" was stubborn...
So he asked me to rest...

later in the noon I'm so worried when she walked close towards me...
I do my best to keep her away from "IT"...
I'm sorry dear...

GPa... can this pain stop...
I can't bare this burden any longer...
Ah Chip, Ah Nee and Ah Khor...
I need to make sure they are safe...
We have the same blood...
I dun wan them to feel and see what I have gone through...
Neither do all my friends...

Please show me a way where I can stop this...

Trouble...

Some thing trouble me tonight...
I feel bad coz some one some where out there...
Is not feeling well because of me...
What have I done...
What did I done wrongly...
I'm sorry...

Maturity?

Maturity...
Was discussing with fred earlier today...
What make a person matured...
As a conclusion we found out is nil...
nothing ca make a person matured...

Why maturity is a judgement...
u have the tendency to compare a person with another...

Most of us would prefer to mature rather than simply age...
Mature implies gaining wisdom, experience, or sophistication as well as adulthood...
If you compare me and our prime ministers or CEOs, who among us are matured??
My answer will be each of us are matured in our own way...

I may be playful out side...
but when it come to work...
it is my responsibility to get the job done...

my challenge to you...
are u matured?
are you physically matured???
are you mentally matured???
how to prove that you are mentally matured???

so next time, please avoid saying things such as...
I like a matured guy.
(actually u don't like matured guy... u like the guy that have A, B, C traits...which u label it as matured...)
That person is not matured.
(same goes with this one... you are labeling them....)

well.... think about it :)