Insecurity

Lately been having strange dream, about the future. The state of my mind at that time is as clear as a crystal. Still, my ego in me keep shutting me down from believing it, for chasing after it, and go for it. The uncertainties keep hunting me. Clouded and faded my conscious mind from processing it. Reminds me of the training I have gone true about realizing my dreams. As the coached me "Dream will only be dream if I do nothing about it".

It still in my head, the sound of cheering and voices of those who will be at my back if ever I would fall. Even thou I realize all of this, fear and self righteousness overwhelming my though. Day after day I told myself of the different I could made, utter it day by day "I'm a free, responsible and a caring man!". The state of my mind is no longer the same that it was last time. The conscious are beating me day by day yelling at me say "what is you purpose of living anyway?". "I you wan to start some thing you better do it now!".

Choice?! What about it anyway that make my life as it is? The life that I'm living in now is the result of the choice that I have made in the past. The choice that I will be making now will make tomorrow a different. Will I made "that" choice? The choice that will bring a difference to the world I'm living in?

People say "go out and make that choice!", my coward heart care so much, so much that I melted my own stone cold tough heart and stay put in my cave with all the "safety tools". As I remember, that is how I was brought up. Play with the "safe stuff". Safe...

It's a complicated simplicity situation, but the fix mind of my and the chronology of my life turn the "safe" into a back door, way out, avoidance, exit and escape from my responsibilities. Such a coward I am. Step up! It's now or never. It's never too late, but why not now! Do it do it Now!!!!