New Year Eve n' Home Alone

Wow, another year of my life will pass in few minute time. Still, I'm seating alone in my room in front of my PC, surfing the net n receiving SMS greetings from my friend. who say I dun wanna go out.i wan to, but alone? Well some of the guys did ask me out but I decline it. They all went in pair. Me? Just dun wanna be the pain in the ass for them. Let them "date-date".

Ha ha ha... so here I am, blogging alone and still single in my room listen to the 8tv live broadcast at da same time (the artist perform is pretty suck specially "Yu He", sorry gal u not the type to sing live and she sound like some karaoke singing chick.... but pretty cute (>_^)).

Well talking about relation, most of what I had never work out. If not being dump, they just left without a word. I dun blame them, me not good with words. Sometime I just say what it appear to me. I'm not a hypocrite. I'm myself. Wow, I can hear people screaming right now. *Sign*. Just another day of single, it's a good thing some times, But most of the time feel like "desperate house kiddo"....he he he...

Well I believe in fate. May be one day. May be later. May be...

But future is for me to create not change!

Love ya!!

Saving My Own Life

" Where did I go wrong, I lost myself...
Somewhere along in the bitterness...
And I would have stayed up all night...
Had I known how to save this life..."

I have a great job, good pay, good environment, nice place to live, nice neighborhood... I keep wondering to myself "is this the type of life I'm going to be living in for another 10 to 20 years?". Some how, the question create a resentment in me. I hate to answer it as I already know the answer to it. I guest....

A great man once told me, not knowing what I want clearly is the most dangerous decision would 1 ever made. Because it's a way to escape from getting what I want. A back door. have I reminde myself for so many times yet. I have done nothing to change it. I have betrayed my own life. Keep thinking of it make me feel so low...

Some how there are a small side of me that say "You are doing the life living thing, un-consciously, it doesn't have to be big..." "No! It gotta to be big!" Say my other half. "Yet u haven't done anything to make it happen, and you doesn't seem to be having one "what u want in life thing!" so stop bullsh!ting aroung and work the hell out of your ass!!"

Yeap, my mind is totally messy lot sa stuff going on up there. Just cant seem to find a clear vision of my life, and no patient at all... Did I just say no patient?? which mean I must have some thing in mind, but didn't go out and do it. What a mess I have gotten into.

Yes, I have this vision for world peace. I believe in human race. I believe all human have 1 common thing in our life... which is music... like Bob Marley sayz, his vision is to unite the world with music. But still he died of drug abuse. Unlike the movies, in reality good people die early. People can take other people life with just 1 tick of the pistol trigger. Since no one to be blame the religious party and other so called "moral and right protection movement" blame. Blame the music it self ...

And rock and roll was among the victim. They call em' satanism, ghost wore shipper, sex, drug and alcohol are all being pointed at this great music. Beside people who sang classic, rap, hiphop, or what so ever music drink, have fun, have sex, making out and most of all take drug... but nobody see em'. Because may be the way they dress look clean...tidy... nice fashionable well rock on the other hand look dark, gothic they called it. But hey common it just a dress. Why blame us for the way we are and blame us for the thing that every body in the world do???!!!

Even in my family, people don't believe at me when I say music especially rock can change the world into a better place. They look down on me and say "it is noisy and get on with the reality!! Rock can't change the world!!". " Stop day dreaming it, just one of your fantasies!!".

Well let me tell ya this!!! I don't give a f@ck what you say!! Because rocking is my life!! I'm happy rocking out with my friend because is what I wanted to do. I'm not a hypocrite pretend to like stuff that other people like... rocking to my is like to love a person it can be force...it natural...it's me.....I not legend.... I'm not Beowolf.... but I'm wrock.... and I'm Kai!!!!!

So to all fella' rocker out there... rock ya life out.... be in contribution... as 1 day believe me...

1 rock concert can change histories.... and unite people in this world.... into one unit we called the human race!!!

ARE U ONE OF THEM

My oh my, almost half a decade we have been granted freedom yet we forget bout the nightmare we once had...

Not just us Malaysian, all over the world, prejudice and hatred for other skin colour roaming inside the human blood. It's kinda wierd sometimes to think about why there are such occupation as killing. I'm not kidding, in this world people are actually promote killing as a living. And it even existed in our country. They are the ARMIES. I'm not saying that they are bad, evil....or something, but let us think about it. The armies from the whole world are TRAINNED TO KILL!

We, on the table condeming other country about peace and harmony... in our backyard we are trainning "killer". History tells all. Back to the times of ColdWar, GulfWar, WW2, WW1, the ancient GreatBritain war, the Dark Ages through the Holy War, Roman Empire expension,CIA , the KKK, secret society....
Hatred for other had been part of human life.

In this modern days, we even done a greater mess by introducing the word "RACE" and promote RACISM amongs human. In wikipedia, Racism has many definitions, the most common and widely accepted being the belief that members of one race are intrinsically superior or inferior to members of other races. In Malaysia, the practice is very obvious, political party represented EACH RACE!!! So much of UNITY!!!

But hey, look at the bright side, in Malaysia we can have our ol-time favourite "roti canai", "nasi lemak", "capati", "rendang", "lemang", "kuit bulan", "kuih bakul" etc... In the middle east, African countries and other part of the world, people die because of racism. Racism unconciously deviding ourself for the differences that we have... our believe, our religion, our skin colour...

So,next time if you are piss off with some one
never used racial as an excuse...

if you fail in something
never used racial as an excuse...

Because when we talk about "race"...in reality there are no Chinese, Malay, Indian, Afican American, Asian or what-so-ever...

WHY I say this you will be wondering...

There are only 1 race, and guess what, we know them as HUMAN RACE!!

WHEN NATURE CALL

WELL HERE I'M...
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT...
WAITING FOR TOMORROW TO COME...

BUT, WILL IT EVER COME...
AS THIS BODY WAS NOT MINE FROM THE BEGINNING...
THE JUDAS SAY WE ARE CREATED FROM LIGHT...
THE BIBLE AND KORAN SAY WE ARE MADE FROM LAND...
AND THE BUDDHIST SAY WE ARE CREATED BY SMALL ATOM...

WHAT EVER THEY SAY...
WE ARE STILL JUST A GUEST TO THIS HOST....
AS DAY COME WHERE WE WILL HAVE TO GIVE IT BACK...

BUT, BEFORE THAT COULD HAPPEN...
WE LIVE...
I LIVE....I SHARE...I GIVE...I CARE...
FOR THE AIR THAT I BREATH...
FOR TH BEAUTY THAT I SEE...
FOR THE LIVE THIS I LIVE...
I THANK YOU...
THE SUPREME BEING IF U EVER EXISTED.....
MY PARENT FOR GIVING ME THIS LIVE...
EVERYONE FOR SHOWING ME THE BEAUTY OF LIVE...

BIG... SMALL....BEAUTY....UGLY BUT NICE TO SEE...
THAT IS WHAT EVERY THING MEANT TO ME...
SHALL I REMEMBER THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE...
"BORN WITH LOVE, LIVE WITHOUT FEAR, REST IN PEACE!"

K-EEPS PEACE
A-ROUND THE WORLD
I-LOVE YOU ALL

BudokMilo 2 Dec 2007